The crisis of our lives stems from within. If you’re able to reconcile with the person within; you’re halfway to solving your problems.
Mutuality talks about understanding the complexity of who we are to help us better relate with ourselves, people, and the environment.
THE essence of human life and existence culminate in who we are, what we do, how we live and relate with ourselves – the person within, the people around us.
The humankind is clouded by all manner of crises and chaotic innuendos that if not properly resolved, would lead to suicidal decisions.
In my opening statement, I mentioned the phrase, “The person within.” By that, I am concerned about how we reconcile and resolve crises and problematic situations within us. Many suicidal attempts or manifestations boil down to the inability to handle and resolve critical issues within us. Critical issues include work and money-related matters.
Everyone, men or women requires a steady flow of income. We have problems to solve, family to cater for, or even issues we must address and if we cannot cater to those little issues, it can constitute a big problem for us.
So, mutuality is concerned with understanding yourself and resolving the troubles you are confronted with daily. For it will help you manage yourself and people generally.
In my last write-up, I spoke about life throwing curve balls at us. Problems are not selective of whom they confront. Even the rich are confronted with all manner of problems because problems are in levels. The poor have their kinds of problems as well as the rich.
For some of us, the crisis within us all rounded: lack of money, loss of loyalty from people who should matter to us, dealing with betrayal, coping with people trying to use and abuse us, and many more.
Hard work, they say, “pays.” In my case, hard work seems more like mere toiling. They even added that it is not just hard work that pays bills, you have to add a dose of smartness to it – hard work plus smartness.
But the truth is, people just love to be called smart, they try to outsmart others to identify with the name-smart Alec. You have everything it takes to get fantastic results but are forced by all manner of phonies whose desire is to just use your hard work and ideas to get ahead because you have work affiliations with them.
Reconcile the Man (Woman) Within:
Being manly comes with lots of expectations from ourselves, first and the people around us.
Growing up, I did not know how to do any of this but knew that it was expected of me. Like most men, I suppose that I have attained some success in many of these areas, I mean the normal things one should do – manly chores like making sure that the things to be done are done, and those other duties that are related to a man I know how to do them.
However, deep down, every man knows they will never really attain the status of a “real man” (assuming that description is true). Life is full of needs – needs for food, water, shelter, clothing, transportation, etc.
Culture requires us to work and provide, to be useful, to make wise decisions, and to eventually amass enough wealth to retire. To be a real man meant that I would have all I needed so I wouldn’t have to work, and I let others do the work for me because I could afford their help. Real men control their environment. Real men too, should be able to lead their homes well and instill love and purpose in their family. Serving and leading with the fear of God.
Of course, this is a fantasy that never reflects the real world. We cannot achieve the nirvana of being a real man because we simply do not have that kind of control or ability.
As I grew up, I also discovered a worldview that has had (and still has) a powerful effect on men, called Feminism.
Feminism paints a generally negative picture of men, depicting men as selfish, sexually charged, uncaring, and stoic. Men use male privilege to obtain high-status work and to amass wealth without commensurate effort. Men are accused of desiring control at the expense of others. If men are angry, they are “abusive.” Mistakes are seen as intentional.
I could go on but suffice it to say that the picture is bleak for those who want to be seen as good men, providers, lovers, protectors. Many men lose their sense of identity if they buy into a feminist view. Men often feel beaten down and shamed if they express themselves strongly and confidently.
But to every man who would or has been able to go beyond this feminine definition, and still standing, kudos! Please, keep up the good work. Don’t ever let anything deter you, you are doing so well but you can do more, it is a question of pushing yourself beyond the limits.
In truth, the definition of manliness is so broad, that you cannot exhaust it in just one article (write-up). Permit me to infer, a feminist definition of manliness is that you would have gone beyond just being a good man, a nice boyfriend, or a perfect husband and dad to almost becoming an angel, so loving and Godly so that you don’t seem to have any faults, at all.
Put in your best, stay sane, conscious that you’re not alone, you have a partner, a spouse, and a lover who needs your attention.
As a man, go with God, and love your family and people generally because we are made for each other.
Yeah, so, reconcile with the person that you are because understanding self helps you to understand others – knowing your strengths, weaknesses, and abilities helps you be patient with others because it reminds or informs you of the difficulties it took you to get to the level of “perfection” that you have attained.
Go Beyond The Limits:
Oftentimes, our problems stem from selfishness – on both sides: males and females alike.
Where is that point of divide between men and women?
My honest answer to this question would be fear. If people get you to have fear for one another, they easily can control you. Fear is almost incurable if it’s been formed – this is why you shouldn’t let fear dominate you in the first place.
What’s worse is that we’ve stopped listening to our own life experiences with people, friendships, and relationships and we’ve started listening to the media that uses divisive language to push us into a state of fear about everything.
“God forbid I should talk to a woman, lest she feel harassed and I get labeled as a sex offender.”
“God forbid I respond to this guy who is talking to me, his attention makes me feel uncomfortable and I’m scared he’s going to hurt or kill me.”
So… yeah! The media teaches us to be fearful of each other and so we don’t talk to each other. New friendships and relationships are suppressed because nobody talks to each other.
So, I don’t think it’s just creating a divide between men and women. I feel like it’s an all-round matter; creating the divide between blacks and whites, APC, PDP, Labor, and every other political party, the old and young, the haves and the have-nots.
But you know what they still tell you, “Together they stand, divided they fall.” Does that make any sense to them? The idea is to manipulate and hold you in contempt. Are they succeeding? Yes, it doesn’t appear so but at least, they have you in fear. You can’t trust anyone after your many experiences with hurt and pain – you would have become lethargic, and just quit!
It’s easier to control a fearful population that doesn’t want anything to do with one another because they’re scared of each other than it is if they don’t.
I think the constant propagation and fear-mongering perpetuated by the media will be the foundation that causes Western civilization to crumble.
Sad, but plain truth!
The answer here would be to value oneself no matter what, and work towards developing a healthy relationship within yourself and the people around you. because this will foster a healthy society – willing to build love and trust within the neighborhood.
God bless!
insidetimsmind 
Leave a comment