You don’t gain speed, or make advancement getting distracted and disenchanted by the activities of people around you.
Focus on what you do, make it unique and especially yours, and see the great success that awaits your plans.
Do what you know best to do, and let everyone else put out their best acts also – the sky is the limit or about just the starting point. It’s big and wide enough to house all the stars we put out on the constellations.
“When a woman is beautiful, classy, intelligent, and confident, she naturally attracts hatred from those who feel intimidated by her.”
– Amara Nwosu
THE world is threatened by confident, classy, and intelligent people. It’s not just a woman’s problem, a lot of men go through this same issue. If you possess those qualities, and you dare to put them out to the world, you should expect criticism from different quarters. Many will tag you: as rude, proud, arrogant, and condescending.
If you happen to somehow not buckle up and be bold enough, you will sink in and allow such statements to bully you into oblivion or a mediocre lifestyle, not inspired, or motivated to go beyond your limits because of the fear of being judged.
But you would know if you understand human psychology and behaviors that these people are just being petty. Should anyone just accept to dance with every wind blows on their way knowing they have more superior ideas but give in to less valuable ideas because of the fear of being tagged?
Anyone who is intimidated by you would try to push and shove you around? They will tell unfounded stories about you just to retard and deter you. But you know better to maintain your position, resolve about what you have, and know rather than choose to go with their opinions or with popular decisions. Sometimes, it’s better to stand alone than stand with everybody if you don’t know their destinations.
Petty is anyone who becomes too careful to follow in detail the activities of others, not to take lessons and or learn to improve their own lives but to disrupt, scuttle, destabilize, and scatter their plans only to steal the ideas and make them theirs at a later opportunity.
Petty is a thief of precious time, and resources. Pettiness will not or does not allow you to choose and pick the right values, bricks, blocks, and materials to build your life. Petty is the word that best fits someone who worries about the progress of others, they wish they could be the only ones making landmark achievements.
By definition, petty mean meanness, someone or a mean person, and ungenerous in small or trifling issues or matters. A petty person shows or is identified by the meanness of his spirit, and takes petty revenge. Pettiness means secondary in rank, especially about others of the same class or kind.
Some people can be petty, especially when they nurture negative ideas or believe they should be the ones in the place of another’s success, not someone else. And since they have no idea how to get to where they want to reach that level of success they probably don’t have what it takes (the wherewithal) even if they believe they’re knowledgeable and well-certificated for it.
For such people, their lifestyle is clouded by competition, very competitive in their nature, everything, and everyone around them is a competition. Everything you do, the steps you take, the speech you make they take it as something you’re doing to beat them a certain game, even when you’re not playing any game – in their mind and undertakings, they compete with until you give in to their pressures and give up because they will continually recruit nonentities in that fight with you.
So, they get so busy paying close and too much attention and concentrating on what they do that they fail to work on what they have or who they are, to conceive or think of ideas that would catapult them to the heights they desire to climb. So, they keep scuttling other people’s plans who are trying to grow and move ahead to force you to remain in the position they are in or force you to accept their inferiority.
It’s important to cut ties with such persons if you have them as friends or family. Right now, I’m sifting friends and the people around me because I just realized that some people around me are not helping to push me forward. Instead, they’re like a heavy weight tied to my running shoes, pulling and holding me down from advancing, and because I have shown ardent resilience in resisting the clutches they put on me, they just hate me and hate my guts.
Recently, I learned a very valuable lesson from one of Bishop Jakes’s messages. He said that most relationships or married people marry someone (partners) who is 80% of what they want. But the 20% looks huge when you’re not getting it. So, they leave the 80 to get the 20, only to move in with the 20 and miss the 80. Because the only thing that makes the 20 valuable is, it supplements the 80. But if you lose your 80 going after your 20, you only realize how greedy and foolish you were.
But here’s the point about life, rather than bother yourself with what others are doing to get ahead, why don’t you think or consider what or how you can continually climb up the ladder of your life? I love Amara Nwosu’s opinion on the observation on the reason why most or some people don’t get ahead in life, “One of the easiest ways to remain abased, under, and unhappy in life is to pay too much attention, negatively, to those who don’t even know you exist.” She said. That’s a profound observation of this matter.
A person who is on a mission to counter what you do will consistently criticize, and inflict upon you with barrages of gossip, backbiting, and jealousy. But you cannot allow yourself to pay attention to what they’re doing, if you know the intentions, you will wriggle your way out of their poisonous entanglement and find your way to the heights you have envisaged for yourself.
One important element in dealing with people is to understand why they are the way they are. Well, one reason people make these malicious, unflattering, spiteful comments about others is that they feel very insecure about themselves, and this is a destructive way they have developed to try to make themselves look better. It certainly doesn’t justify their behavior, but you can at least see why they do it, and that helps you cope with them better.
Also, there are specific occupational conditions that serve to encourage destructive interrelationships among people. Some professions, some management styles, and some organizations seem to promote it more than others.
But there is a deeper cause which we need to understand very well, and we can find that in 2 Timothy 3:1-3, “But realize this, that in the last days, difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good.”
Paul tells us that it’s not going to be easy to get along with other people during the last days because people will love themselves and money above all else. Furthermore, they will not be appreciative, and you won’t be able to get them to reconcile their differences; they’ll prefer to hold on to their hurt feelings and bitterness. They will be malicious gossip, without any self-control or any desire to be good.
Does that sound like some of the people you work with? This is the real root cause of the epidemic of gossip, backbiting, and jealousy that we often encounter. It is a sign of the evil times in which we live.
Some environments are worse than others, and you may choose to escape the situation you are in if it is particularly oppressive. But you will never escape it altogether.
Well, it is a very sad situation. But why not focus on the good news? The proliferation of this kind of evil environment is a sign that this world won’t last forever! We may be victims of it now, but it won’t always be this way. I think this gives us hope, and that’s a good way to think about it.
One thing is certain, petty people would want to make you feel your ideas or everything about you is inferior to theirs only to play down on you to pitch themselves high, and give other people the impression that they are the originators of your very ideas if you’re not strong enough to stand against their intimidations.
Pettiness is somewhat an unrecognizable complex, those who possess it don’t even know or do not think it’s a complex. They feel, “Well, this is part of survival of the fittest. Beat them or be beaten by them.” This rudeness game is practiced to the extremes by governments – because they have the power of the military, police, and law enforcement behind them, they can take on anyone, siphon valuable ideas, and anything they want and get away with it, who is powerful enough to stand against them?
Many people have been hurt in the process, their pride is hurt, and their self-image and integrity hurt because some strong men desire to look, appear, or stamp their position as superior or better than others.
Anyone who is petty will assess, and readily classify you according to their assessment of your value. When they assess you, they’re likely to always get it wrong because, at face value, they don’t see any value in you. Don’t be upset with them, but don’t just accept their appraisal. Because the problem might not be with your value but their poor assessment of you. Their poor assessment might be informed by the fact that they don’t see. They have a plank of wood in their eyes and you have specks of sawdust in yours. The plank in the eyes has blurred their vision so they don’t see your values correctly.
The only person who can give you a real or true sense of value is God. That’s why you have to have a relationship with Him. Only He can tell you who you are because He knows your value and He hides it so that no one gets to use you.
They rejected you because your value wasn’t apparent to them. After they rejected you, it made you desperate and hungry for God. And then, in that attraction, He defines you as, “The mystery man, controlling your circumstances.” So, in your desperation, you cry out, like Jacob did. He said, “Now, that I got you and you got me, ‘I won’t let you go until you bless me.'”
That’s why Isaiah motivated the people, he said, “Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon you.”
Tonight, I also encourage you with the same words of Isaiah, “Arise, shine for your light has come…” God cannot, will not anoint what you present, He anoints the real you, the authentic you!
That is a message from Pastor Paul Adefarasin. It explains in detail the true quality of a petty person. First, they take a look at you based on their outlook, see no sign of greatness in you, or even if they see something but because they see nothing about you that will support or advance the greatness latent in you, they choose to rob you and draw their conclusions, “Who will see the evil we have done against him? Let’s see how he can get out of this quagmire!” And because you don’t have the semblance of someone something strong enough to wiggle out from the rough and tough circumstances they plunged you in, they only sit back and wait for your annihilation and destruction.
So, don’t allow the judgment and evaluation of other people you affect who you are. A petty person thinks that the only way to beat you down is to put chains on you, encircle bad rumors about you, and have people hate and call you names to keep your head bowed, and lowered down by calling you proud and arrogant.
With a critical look into the matter, you will realize that it’s sheer pride on the side of all those tagging you with all kinds of names. They subtly want to use you, so, they will do all it takes to want to clip what they consider as your wings, whatever energizes your resistance just so they can get you to submit to the pressures they continuously mount on you.
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