Success? People pursue after success with all they have…, the pathway to success is often tagged problems, only those who are able to withstand the stress that comes with it get to that destination called purpose!

If you run away from the problems, you miss out. If you choose to stay in your comfort zone, you will definitely fall short of attaining success. Because success does stretch the limits of those who pursue after it to very excruciating degrees, and not too many are able to bear...

There’s nothing new on the face of the Earth. Everything there is, everything there was and everything there will ever be has already been. We’re only improvising and reinventing.

This isn’t child’s play at all…, attaining true success is a journey in the direction of sweet, bitter and sour experiences. On this journey, you will definitely meet with lots of detours. You might need to go through the roads never taken, you must learn to walk down lonesome paths, through the streets and alleys that no one ever walked, blaze a new trail and watch your course bloom to flourishing.

In my search for directions, I must confess it’s not been rosy for the best part of my lifetime. I started this quiet early in life, I have only met with stiff challenges and some human elements that thought it rather arrogant for me to trust in God and the faith He has put in me to have endured all the evil I have encountered in my way to finding success and satisfaction.

I wrote this ode as a guide and map for those who might walk along this path to find their way from the backwoods. I titled it, “The Neverlands.”

The Neverlands!

  1. Where is this place? What paths lead to this place? The place of the none existential. Nah, I see this place only in my illusions, the Neverlands. And I stood in the middle of nowhere, confused, except for my mind that was working like a clock. I looked long and intense, hoping I could find a path that will lead to The Neverlands but found none.
  2. In dismayed, I stood there long enough and asking what next I could do. And heard a silent voice say to me, “Go the road less travelled.” I turned round and round until I began to walk seemingly to an unknown direction, where was I headed? Don’t ask me because I had no answer. What was I looking for? Don’t ask me, I don’t know either.
  3. I kept walking till I got to a place called, “No man’s land” and thought I had gotten to my haven. There, I found comfort and great luxury in No man’s land. But didn’t find that satisfaction I thought I wanted. So, I knew I still had a long way to get to my place in destiny. I kept on with my quest to the blue nowhere.
  4. Finally, I got to this place of calm, sereneness and then I felt a nudge, “You’re already here!” I watched in amazement because I thought it was some place already made. But the sign says, “It’s all out there for you have to dig it up” And pronto, I got to work, stressing and straining. And here I am in the Neverlands.
  5. It’s so fresh, a naturally greenland through an arduous pathway. And not too many people walk through this paths. It passes through the woods. What a dangerous adventure that was. It cost me hard work and the troubles I underwent to get here. Wow, how sweet and fresh it smells. Like the fresh fragrance of cedar, sweet and unadulterated.
  6. Walking through the pathless plains trying to chart through a course for my future. It only left me gawking in wonder and thanksgiving as I lay hold of this beautiful future. And here am I, asking myself where was this place before today? Like it just dropped from the blues but it was there all along and I couldn’t see it.

Exploration is synonymous to success, exploration is actually risks taking. Staying in a comfort zone only leaves you in a state of disadvantage, unadventurous and little minded. Opening one’s mind to opportunities that come our ways because so many opportunities come our ways that we just let them slip away unattended.

The reason most often is that we are always trying to play safe. And playing safe disquiet great potentials. Life is of adventures and those who utilize those opportunities end up on the other side of life – success but those who play safe only patch life at the backwoods.

Walk the roads, never taken!

To create the scripts of your story and build for yourself a life and a future at all, you must be ready to explore the Neverlands to find your own place in the world. But you are not just ready to take that risk because your mind is sounding the warning alarm, “impossible!”

Somewhat, that word “impossibility” is the bogey lurking behind our minds. It is not a lack of hard work, laziness or failures, it’s not a lack of skills either. But it is stopping work at the edge of a breakthrough. Kind you, it’s not everything you try the first time begins to bring you immediate results. You might need to try it a lot more times before you experience some redults. So, keep at it until the answers starts coming. Failure does not come as a result of laziness, not working or lack of stamina or smartness. But the lost of zeal and enthusiasm when it seems success seems far-fetched.

Yes, you’re not the first to have been there, you’re neither the last person to get there, many people have been there before you. Probably, many more will come along that path but no one might be able to do it in the manner you did it, no one might go that path you took. People prefer to follow the status quo, which is the path everyone sees but you took a path none of those who have gone before you dared to go – maybe because it appeared too dangerous, maybe because there were no tracks carved out, maybe they were afraid of that saying, “It’s a road not taken, there’s a bogey lurking around somewhere in the woods…”

It’s somewhat very intriguing when you achieve success where others failed or when you finally record success in a project where you have tried so hard without success. You failed at executing that venture not because you lacked skills but because you lacked the power to stay to the finishing line.

Some weeks ago, I went on a tour through some wonderful picture shots a beloved friend, Dorcas Bentu took on her expedition to some of the beautiful tourists sites in Plateau State, and those pictures left me awestruck!

I could not imagine that we have anything this great and beautiful. Yet, we wallow away in seemingly nothingness and being tagged, “Civil Servants State” as if we don’t have good enough brains, wealth creators and thinkers in the state? How is it that we have all these and have decided to allow ourselves wallow and waste away without turning such beauty into some wealth creating ventures? I have visited a number of such similar beautiful places myself in the past. All are wasting away into nothing but rottenness.

There are countries around the world that are living on tourism only as their source of revenue, they don’t have great technology, they don’t have the natural mineral resources other countries boast of but they have tourism and that’s what they’ve been selling to the world and they’re recording great success in that field, people traveling from other parts of the world just to go and have a feeling of what it’s like to be in such a country.

As I behold nature, the beautiful adulations those pictures exuded, I only could gawk in admiration! But then, an idea stroke a chord in my inside, since we know that Plateau State isn’t such a business minded environment. And since we do not have the political willpower like the core northern states, we can actually sell tourism as our core business. More so that we possess the natural proclivity. With the beautiful landscapes, valleys and falls nature has given us in Plateau State, we can become a tourists attraction in Nigeria and who knows, maybe the world at large.

We will agree that every business in the hand of the government is failing. It’s the same reason why tourism and others have failed in Plateau because government staff do not pay attention to businesses belonging to government. The state government can invest in those beautiful tourism spots, and beauties we’ve been endowed with to bring revenue to the state. There are lots of countries around the world that tourism is their only source of revenue and they are doing so well.

Since government is unable to maintain any public business in its custody, maybe, the best thing is to handle over some of those things to the private sector to begin to run these businesses so we can begin to record or register success.

Walking through the many pictures from beginning to the end in thay collection, I couldn’t find any tracks exploited by the state except for the trails I find out I could create as I walk all through to find my way back to the reality of what could become of us if we look within and put aside our over dependence on the federal government and begin to see to what we can do outside the subventions from the federal government.

I hope our case does not become like the case of that poor beggar who stood out on the street begging for arms at the wake of every day whereas he was sleeping on a Gold minefield till his death only to be discovered by the rich neighbor who bought the little piece of land from his family.

It was a virgin land, entirely covered by tall grown spear-like grasses, birds chirping peaceful on tree tops, everywhere was calm as in a paradise. The grounds seemed not to have been cultivated or they life could remember. The hills and valleys stood tall covering the entire land mass green with some colorful flowers spanning all around.

“Not all who wander are lost,” wrote J. R. R. Tolkien in the famous The Lord of the Rings trilogy. In fact, travel and tourism are both wonderful personal pursuits and also fulfilling professional career tracks. Everyone tells you to “follow your passion,” right? So, if your passion is scratching those itchy feet, getting more stamps in your passport, getting lost and then found in foreign cities where you don’t know the language, striving to find where the horizon meets the ocean, then pursuing a degree in tourism might just be what you need to turn your avocation into your vocation! Students studying tourism have a variety of specialties to choose from and can focus their studies in several different specific fields.

  1. Adventure Tourism: Always intrigued by the road less traveled? Does the quote “The mountains are calling and I must go” from American adventurer and author John Muir stir something inside your soul and make you want to buy a ticket on the next flight to anywhere? Then adventure tourism might be the career for you. “Adventure tourism is defined as the movement of people from one to another place outside their comfort zone for exploration or travel to remote areas, exotic and possibly hostile areas,” writes TourismNotes.com. Many students who pursue adventure tourism as their degree are interested in adventure sports such as rock climbing, kayaking, surfing, skiing and snowboarding, mountaineering, and more. “A career in adventure tourism usually stems from building on your own interests in adventure sports,” explains AllAboutCareers.com. You can’t teach surfing, or lead a surfing adventure, if you can’t surf! This seems obvious, but investing time and energy into becoming an expert in your preferred adventure sport will make you a more competitive employee once you’re on the job hunt. This is will even be encouraged in your adventure tourism degree by making certain courses and proficiency in a sport a requirement. Worried about the future of your chosen career in adventure tourism? Don’t be. According to recent data from AlliedMarketResearch.com, the global adventure tourism market was valued at $586.3 billion in 2018, and is expected to hit $1,626.7 billion in 2026, representing a compound annual growth rate of of 13.3% from 2019 to 2026. It adds, “The development of the travel & tourism sector fosters the growth for adventure tourism market demand.” One adventure tourism professional makes it look easy and fun. Studying at the University of the Highlands and Islands, student Ruta Melvere is a professional diver, snowboarding, kayaker, and mountaineer. Ruta advises “Life’s too short not to enjoy it. My mission in life is not to barely survive, but to thrive and to do so with humor and compassion. I believe that any dream needs a plan. My dream is to build a one year schedule of professional trips and expeditions, adventures, that everyone can join.” Ruta is one excellent example of putting your adventure tourism skills into practice to create a lifelong fulfilling career path.
  2. Ecotourism And Sustainable Tourism: If you are looking to merge your passions of environmental activism and tourism, then you should consider studying ecotourism or sustainable tourism. More and more travelers and tourists are looking for authentic experiences that have minimal impact on the environment. They are often looking for ways to integrate their travels with environmental activism or service projects. This trend will only increase as the world increasingly comes to see the effects and consequences of climate change unfold. Recently, tourism companies are asking scientists to advise them on planning and developing their hotels and services while keeping the environment in mind. Abby Ellin reports in The New York Times, “Eco-tourism has been a buzzword in the travel industry for some time now, with more and more hotels giving guests the option to reuse their sheets or to forego housekeeping entirely in an effort to ‘protect the environment’ [and companies like] Inkaterra are hiring scientists to conduct serious academic inquiry while also offering nature tours, workshops and classes for guests.”
  3. Leisure And Recreation Studies: The idea of studying leisure and recreation as a potential profession sounds too good to be true, right? However, it is another excellent option for those interested in another side of the tourism industry that appeals to the softer, luxurious, fun-loving side of life. Some jobs that a degree in leisure studies might include park ranger, fitness center manager, sports director, and even an amusement park manager. The definition of leisure studies includes recreation and is defined as “a social science that focuses on how recreational activities impact individuals and communities. By definition, recreational activities are those done to help people unwind and find enjoyment when they are not working. Examples may include hiking, biking, reading, playing card games or attending events in music or the arts,” writes Plexuss.com. As a specialist in leisure and recreation, you will be able to organize appropriate events and activities for a variety of different groups’ needs. Students in the field work to engage communities and build social relationships to promote health. As a leisure and recreation student, you will “practice what you preach”, meaning you will learn how to organize, engage, and teach clients and tourists whatever sport or activity you enjoy, big or small.
  4. Resort Management: Looking for higher managerial positions in the tourism industry? Specializing in resort management can allow you to gain the necessary skills to excel and rise to the highest positions in a resort, one of the tourism industry’s most lucrative markets. Resort management is the study of how to run an efficient, effective, and successful lodging and hospitality enterprise. Courses you might study in a resort management degree are not limited to the following: microbial food safety, hospitality accounting, hotel rooms division management, beverage management, public relations, and management information systems. As a manager of a hotel, resort, casino, or any establishment that requires high quality hospitality and management, you will oversee daily operations and be the leader and manage a large staff. Catering, meetings, special events, weddings, and more might fall under your purview.
  5. Spa Management: Perhaps you enjoy the finer side of life. If so you may enjoy working in the spa management side of the tourism industry. Spa culture is ubiquitous in the travel and tourism industry, so there are many career opportunities for graduates in the lucrative, dynamic spa and wellness industry. In an interview with HospitalityNet, Lisa Starr, principal of Wynne Business Span Consulting and Education, says, “Wellness tourism is growing faster than the tourism sector overall — and even faster than the global GDP.” Trends rise and fall in the spa and wellness field and in your spa management program you can assess different case studies and likely intern at different places to gain insight into the field. “Spa managers are responsible for supervising spa staff, overseeing inventory and managing finances. There are varying levels in spa management including spa supervisors and spa managers,” reports Learn.org. A spa manager generally oversees all of the day-to-day operations in a spa, making decisions to prioritize the customer’s happiness and provide them with a positive experience. They manage staff, the overall finances and budget, and make sure the facilities are maintained.
  6. Tour Guide Training: One very specific and important aspect of adventure tourism, and a sub field that requires both dedication and special skills, is tour guiding. As a tour guide you are responsible for the wellbeing, health, and the overall experience of all the participants in your group. Gaining adequate skills and knowledge to lead groups in specific sports or activities happens in enrolled courses that allow you to develop and hone those skills. You’ll need to figure out your leadership style.

The federal government have commercialized every business that belonged to the government to individuals, why can’t they sell tourism to individuals as well, since they don’t seem to know how to manage anything that belongs to the government.

Yes, those sectors have always belonged to the government but the government is not forthcoming with answers that question their unsuccessful attainments in the areas of business and almost every thing.

“Used to be” is a cliche that has kept lots of potentially successful people in the backwoods of life and not attaining their maximum potentials for fear of being different, not walking a lone path, not bolstering their faith enough to come out of the rut they gave allowed themselves to enter in because of fear.

Robert Frost wrote this beautiful poem, I would to share it with you: “The Road Not Taken”
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Many people are in a rut right now because they have always followed what everyone else is doing or saying. They never wanted to use what they had in the name inside of them. They preferred to go with popular opinions. And popular opinions are majority but they are mediocre prone.

When you go the paths no one has ever been, you blaze a trail other people never dared and you give other something to look up to. Normal is good but spectacular is the best because it’s more celebrated.

People will complain especially when they see something new, something they’ve not experienced before, they question it until they also get used to it being a part of life. We must dare to question the normal norms around us.

This isn’t rocket science, it’s simple arithmetic, you can sell something that’s scarce and in high demand but when you have the market flooded with the same goods, it loses its value and the price falls but have a product that’s rare, it is priced high because there’s high demand for it that the people can’t find to but.

Therefore, if you go the way everyone else has been, there’s little or nothing new to discover but if you go down a road less travelled, you will so much to discover or you will carve a rut and leave a trail for some other people who would come after you to follow.

Go through the road less travelled and leave trails behind to guide people who’d go after you.!

Love, Sex And Relationship!

Communicating wrong signals in relationships is the parents that give birth to dysfunctional homes.

We missed it that very moment we mistook love and sex to stand by side. They’re outrightly two worlds apart. Love is tender, it can interact with sex at some point in a relationship but they do not always go together. Can sex function well outside love?

The answer is an affirmative, yes! As a matter fact, sex can function well enough outside love and relationship. But that will be merely satisfying an urge!

In love, sex and relationship, I seeks to strike a balance in the problems young people are faced with in their relationships with the opposite sex. This write up is a guide so that you don’t have misguided ideas about your relationship with your partner.

Yes, it is very possible to fall in love with someone and not having sex with each other because your respect one another’s position on the issue of love and respect. However, sex plays a very vital role in keeping your love and romantic life adequately salted.

Whilst love correlate with sex from time to time to keep the romantic fire in a marriage relationship going. Constant sex may also cause an erosion of the mind because sex robs the mind of constructive thinking and use of the intellectual. 

It is very possible to have sex with a person without being in love with the person… That is dangerous though, it is the reason why some people can go for a one night stand with a total stranger.

Sex is just an urge, a mere expression of hormonal outbursts, that’s why it can happen without the couples having an iota of feelings for one another!

A relationship or home as the name implies, is not a place rancour reigning ground. A home should be a welcoming haven, a place of solace and rest, a place of calmness and peaceful arena for the sake of developing and grooming a productivity in a tranquillity in all members of the household.

In the case where there is need to settle disputes of whatsoever kind in the home, this can either be done in an amicable way or with raucousness. In the bid to settle disputes with your husband or wife, you may need to apply wisdom because if you don’t get it right, you mess things up rather than repair them.

Sex should not be used as a currency to settle problems you might have with your man, for that will rather be manipulating the situation than providing succor. Sex was meant to be sacred but some women have turned sex to a tool which they use to gain favors from their men and that is rather manipulative.

If you manipulate your husband with sex, not too long he might realized it and your romantic or love making life may be strained. The sex life of a couple should be mutual, done out of a loving and willing heart, and not being coerced, not traded or bought with money or favors.

Be careful what counsel you receive from friends, family, loved ones or the people with whom you tell things about your relationship.

The home front will always be confronted with little hitches every now and then. You must be wise to know what counsel you take. Sometimes, some friends advice us from the point of a joke and some of us are not too wise to sift out what works for their own relationships. But they just take literally whatever is said to them and begin to apply into their own lives verbatim without verifying what will work for their own kind of family. Relationships are not all the same, every relationship has its unique problems and you must learn to handle them with their uniqueness. Search your relationship to know what is good and what is not good, what works and will not work for your relationship. Stop listening to people telling you how you should handle your wife or husband to stay in control in the relationship or home.

The tender, loving kindness true love exudes does not give room for evil thoughts and bad intentions to reign in a family. Love will always give and not ask for a repayment. You can enjoy exceeding peace if every member of your household begin to practice to love everyone, if we begin to practice giving without asking for anything in return, what a perfect home or family you would have.

A very cardinal point in grooming a healthy relationship is love. Where there is love, there is peace and joy. Where there is love, harmony reigns. Where there is love, the environment becomes very conducive for every form of success.

Strife, envy and jealousy are bad tools to run a family or a home. All of those negative qualities rather break up the family bond and allows little little misunderstanding to begin seep in and cause major hick ups in the home. When you love your family, you teach the truth in love, if you love your family, you don’t allow gossips to linger long amidst you. You settle your differences in a manner that benefits everyone because every member of the family is willing and open to rebukes and to take corrections.

This is quiet deep, sex is the union between the male and female sex organs in what can be called an intercourse. Sex is alluring, every mature and functional male wants to have sex. Human sexual activity, human sexual practice or human sexual behaviour is the manner in which humans experience and express their sexuality. People engage in a variety of sexual acts, ranging from activities done alone to acts with another person in varying patterns of frequency, for a wide variety of reasons.

Sex is enjoyable by all but more by the male specie than female or so to say.

Now, sex has two branches. The first branch is physical contact whereas the second branch is union of the spirits:

  1. Physical Sex: is when two grown ups sleep with each other and there is a penetration of the male’s sex organs (the penis) into the female’s sex organs (the vagina). It is not always that when people have sex that results in pregnancy. Sex eases out tension from the human body, it takes away the stress of the day and calms men.
  2. Spiritual Union: Sex is basically the source through which children are born. How can one explain what happens when the sperms from the male unites with the ovory from the female to form the foetus and then a baby and born into the world? That is a spiritual things that the sperms and the ovary have life in them.

In the family, we have our different levels we interact in the home. Love takes precedence in all levels of relationship in the family. The father, mother and siblings relate within limits.

The relationship between parents – the father and mother do not have restrictions as to the level in which they relate or interact in their level as husband and wife. A man has every right to do with his wife as he so please, same thing goes for the woman. The woman is at liberty to act as she deems right with her husband.

Siblings are not at liberty to go to certain lengths in interacting with each other no matter how much they love themselves – these line of parity have naturally been drawn so that incest is not recorded.

The love within parents and children, siblings is deep but not deep enough to call for sex. It is considered as a taboo.

We have always misunderstood sex and lovemaking. You can have sex without loving the person just like what we see in animals. An animal whether female or male can sleep or have sex with another of its kind with a feeling of disloyalty to anyone.

Like we discussed above, sex can be ordinary – two people of the opposite sex attracted to each other sexually, they don’t have to have any mutual feelings towards each other. Sex makes more sense when the party feel something. When you’re making love, you’re not in a hurry to just have sex and go, you take time to pleasure one another.

In lovemaking, there’s tenderness, there’s kindness and there’s caring. There’s a readiness to accept responsibility of the outcome of your actions, there’s room to keep your partner at peace, fears are allayed, assurances are in place so that my partner does not have to worry for anything, insecurities are waded away.

When you’re making love, you woo your partner, rather than enticing or baiting him or her.

Problems are inevitable in the home but it is the way and manner with which we settle these problems that arise in the home is what matters. As a matter of fact, problems are a part of the tools that brings strength and cohesion to most homes if they’re properly managed.

What are some of the things that bring problems in the home?

Sex and money are always the issues that cause lots of problems in the home. Be


  1. Sleep out naked: The statement below was a joke spoken in a group chat to sample people’s opinions on the issue, “He is angry with you? Don’t beg him my dear, take off your clothes and sleep naked. No man sleep’s angry besides a naked woman.” That is okay, if you’d ask me! But there’s a clause there… Let me ask you a question my beautiful women. Do you really understand the meaning of sex and lovemaking? Can you tell the difference? Or do you, women just want to behave like prostitutes? It does not take anything to have sex with a prostitute. All you need to do is simple, “Pay her what’s due to her, she opens up and let you in.” But the sex life of a husband and wife is not just the sex. It is supposed to be tender, loving, care (TLC). You have sex with your woman tenderly and lovingly, making such that you’re first lubricating the walls of her vagina and keeping it wet enough for easy penetration. When you sleep naked in bed besides an angry man with that intention, you have only reduced your balue to a mere prostitute at that moment. You can’t call that lovemaking, rather, it’s called traded sex and manipulation.
  2. Deny Him Sex: What most women do to their husbands when they want more money or when they want the man to get something special for them is to deny him sex until he.brings out the money they’d demanded from him before they allow him to have sex with them.

Please think about this, I might have said it in a joking manner but it’s the plain truth… the difference between sex and lovemaking is that sex can take place without love or having any feelings for the person you had sex with like in the case of wild animals. Wild animals can have sex indiscriminately, with different females of their specie. We are human, our sex life should not be wild, it should come out of some sort of connection, a relationship. There should be some sort of mutual binding between the couples.

Sex as much as is physical, it has a spiritual angle to it. When sexual intercourse takes place, there is a spiritual bonding between the couples. As humans, our sex life should be called lovemaking because it emanate from a place of feelings you have for someone. Love flows from a place of deep thoughts and feelings of affection.

Body Size!

You’re the standard in creation whatever size you are. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

People try to beat themselves to sizes they perceive could be the most perfect and standard measurement by the standards of those who taunt them. They do stuff to try to change their skin colors so they can appear light skinned because some friends told them they do not look like someone they should associate with.

“I’d put in my 10,000 hours learning to love my body at every size. Still, I was very irritated with the practical issues of having gained 60 pounds.” – Lauren Chan

Why beat yourself to stupor for no cause? Body size is not a function of beauty, it’s not a function of quality, it’s only but a complimentary part of humanity. Don’t you know that you’re fearfully and wonderfully made?

Don’t ever mind what life may tell you, don’t ever bother what standards have been set in place. As far life is concerned, the game has been specified, refereed as “fairly play” for all as it is different strokes for different folks – what you want might not be what I want. So, go for your choice as everyone else goes for his/her choices.

In times past, the fashion industry carved out slim and tallness of body sizes as the standard for modeling, this did not really sink well with the people in the plus sized figures. And that believe sort of created business or work for slim, tall people leaving out the plus sized wreathing in frustration thinking they fall short of the standard. But is it possible that the first person who thought of creating fashion was slim in nature and probably because he/she could do it so well and began to recruit people in their size and that automatically became the standard?

Fashion houses run by individual designers, started in the 19th century with Charles Frederick Worth who, beginning in 1858, was the first designer to have his label sewn into the garments he created.

By the 1920s, modeling had become more of a visible job choice for women, with department stores and retailers across the U.S. regularly staging fashion shows with live models, and referring to them more as “models” than as “mannequins.” Then, in New York City in 1923, John Powers opened the very first modeling agency.

Modelling as a profession was first established in 1853 by Charles Frederick Worth, the “father of haute couture”, when he asked his wife, Marie Vernet Worth, to model the clothes he designed. The term “house model” was coined to describe this type of work.

From the initial belief and emphasis on height and slim size of modeling, it was a hard for people with the plus sizes to want to partake. There was actually a cutoff mark for height and size. Today, the story is different. Because the nature of modeling is to sell products, there is actually a wide range of different roles a model can fit into: plus size or curvy models, petite models, child or senior models, and not to mention even the most basic differences like male and female models.

Plus size modeling is a little different from other divisions of modeling in that size matters more than exact measurements. Models are generally size 12 and up with good body proportions. A general rule is that your waist should be about 10 inches smaller than your hips, but that’s just a guideline.

What makes you the standard? Tall or short or slim or big? Standards are best measures by quality, size is relative and only apportioned to a minority. In a football field, there are no standard sizes, it’s the quality of your skills that matter. In a basketball pitch, height is the standard as well as the volleyball. But in Hockey, I don’t think height has anything to of advantage. As a matter of fact, it will be of a disadvantage because the Hockeyball run on the ground most often.

For what it’s worth, you’re a standard in your own class, a special being, created with great features that defines you as uniquely endowed, your look does not matter! The issue of “I am not like Lady Kay, Lady Tasha or Lady Claris is immaterial.” Who told you that the thing about us is in body size? Everyone has his/her uniqueness and different taste of what they want in their partners – there’s no body size that’s the standard. If Mr. Ade loves them big that won’t be the same with Mr. Dele because Dele might love tall slim girls. It’s a question of choice. Therefore, whatever your choice is, don’t make a standard fo everyone as not everybody shares your views about everything especially when it comes to choice of a partner.

For me, I love a beautiful and well mannered or charactered woman whether she’s a plus size or not – “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder” that phrase will always put it right.

Are there standard sizes for human beings? I have always seen this statement, it never really made sense like it did today, “Don’t judge a book by its cover!” Marketers have learned the secret to sell their products with ease, they package it beautifully to entice and attract buyers. But you don’t get to just take the product at face value because you might get disappointed as the beauty of the packaging might not really unveil the quality of that product. People are even more complex to judge using those human standards. The taste of the broth is in the eating.

A plus or minus size is not the issue, the worth of a man or woman is not in the size of his/her body or facial appearance but the content and quality of persona carried in that container – looks are deceitful. Everyone is unique in some special ways, look out for that uniqueness I’m your partner and stop whining.

So, stop beating yourself about body size… what or who are you in the inside – out! Plus or minus sizes can be both beautiful and ugly depending on the individual’s comportment and the contents of your medulla. Are you a plus or minus sizes? How do you carry yourself? Are you proud of who you are? There are lots of slim sizes wishing they were as big as you are, and there are lots of plus sizes wishing they’re as slim as you are. The bott line here is, whether you are a plus or a minus size, developed a beautiful heart because that’s the hallmark and threshold of your life and success.

A lady in a Facebook group I was invited to join said. Besides, I must admit that I admire the boldness with which she presents issues of life without fear or prejudice. The thing here is that she’s plus sized, bold and beautiful, I also want to believe she’s beautiful inside as well. She posted a picture of a beautiful couples in bikini and the male in shorts and above it she said, “Plus size women killing it back to back!

If you are a man and you don’t have a plus sized woman as a partner or soulmate in your life, bruh your life is incomplete and you are in the dark room of unhappy men. Plus sized women are joy givers and a positive blessings in any man’s life that knows their worth and value.

I’ll be a plus sized woman till I die.”

You know what this is about? This is solidly a statement of someone who truly believe in herself, this is positive self esteem so that no one comes around you and tells you, “You know what? You’re too big or too small, babe. How do you cope with being you?”

Well, that was an impeccable advert for her boutique. I needee to remind you about that. A beautiful advert too for the advertisement companies. Now, any slim girl who would take that advert to heart and think that plus size is the in-thing will literally just ruin her own life by thinking that the plus is standard for every woman – that is actually the impression advertisement companies try to implant in the minds of those watch those adverts. It is very okay to admire good quality, like the ones she enumerated, joy givers, and positive blessings to their men – those are positive qualities one can imbibe to keep a healthy home.

What’s the standard size of a human being?

Lately, some person in the plus sized figure have also entered and seemed to have permeated the fashion industry and bringing in balance to the former believed standard, which was slimness. Whatever size you are, you can be whatever you want to be, quit letting people tell you what or what you are not!

Like said earlier, categorizing human beings to size would the heights of wrongs to commit against humanity because there human size that should be belittled, you size or height can only be an advantage or disadvantage when you need to do certain things the other size or height deficiency or indeficiency would have done. That you’re tall or short or big or slim or a midget is never your doing, you did not create yourself, you didn’t deserve to be as tall or as beautiful you are, you paid nothing to earn it. It was only vested on you by nature. There are tall rich people, there are tall poor people same goes for sizes, nobody ever paid an amount for his body size – nature determines that. So be happy with who you’ve been made to be.

Whether you are a plus size or ainus size, you need to value yourself as you want others to value you. Your value or worth is in the quality of character you possess morning your body size. If it were so, every tall person will automatically be a basketballer, every slim woman will be a model as the standard opined, every schooled person will be successful but quality is self imparted, nature does not give it to you.

There are sizes that are added advantage – the tall man could reach higher, the short man could squat and go through a low basement with ease, African traditional attires fits plus sized girl than the slim sizes girl, they say you possess a model’s features. So, we all have our advantages and disadvantages.

Love yourself the way you are and do not be envious of anybody’s size as you’re fearfully and wonderfully made.

Information Imbued!

Intelligence and results are like inseparable twins working side by side to each other to achieve a common goal – that twin spirit, telepathic instinct!

Applied intelligence births great productivity, whereas intelligence acquired for the mere purpose of showmanship is cheap because it only stops at beautiful oratory, which only reduces the possessor to mere applauds, and culminates in mere usury and manipulations.

Intelligence displayed in speech only to mesmerize your listeners are but potential demoters of the possessor because words are spirits and they have the potency to reproduce.

Words are living beings, they’re potentially mobile because they stir up actions! Like faith, a word is the substance of things we hope for and the evidence of those things yet to be seen.

In the realm of the spirit, words have presence. True living starts from our thought realm and flow into the realm of existence as we begin to workout the contents of our words. Someone said it that, “What we think we do, what we do form our habits and our habits become a part of who we are, character wise.” So, whatever happens in the spirit realm, which is your thought realm, happens in time.

Words should not be spoken only for the sake of speaking, wise people affirm their stand concerning an issue by saying, “My word is my bond!” And that is how it should be with everything we say to people, our words should be our bond. Every speech ever written or spoken is pregnant with information and potencies. A speech is a structures or words put together to give birth to action or better still, a word is a substance in a spirit form.

In their campaign speeches, politicians speak convincingly and beautifully, making untold and wild promises that elates the masses. And the people cheer and applaud their orations. After so many years in office, none of the things they promised has ever come to materialization… It was mere talk, they just needed to say what they know the people want to hear, just to please and have the people vote them into public offices where they go to cripple us by their inability to deliver credibility and so driving the nation into gross financial bankruptcy and unproductivity.

"But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment."

- Matthew

The erudition is not only buried in the beautiful of a speech but in the doing of all that the information acquired, the ideas, data or things we have learned and know. If life only end in speeches, then, so much will be left undone and nothing will ever be achieved at all. The prove that you possess knowledge should be seen in what you say but more expressively in what you do or the results evident of your speech.

I smile, you know, whenever people tell me, “You speak so well…” in my mind, I contemplate because I know that they don’t have an idea what thoughts run deep down my mind when people speak in that way.

Yes, it feels good to have people praise you for being good at what you do or say. Speeches plays a very vital role in the making of a man’s life, “…by the fruits of their lips, they shall be filled.” Our mouths produces every good deed that happens in our lives.

Speech has a technology, it is not on in the proper construction and arrangement of sentence structures. Speech is a communication made a speaker to an audience for a purpose, purpose is action. Purpose gives you a reason why something exists.

Why do we make speeches? Do people just make speeches? Is it because they just want to talk, they have something bottled I’m their minds to say and so they just spill it all out.

There’s no need for a speech if the speaker does not mean to communicate an action. Every speech made communicates actions that should be taken, about to be taken or actions that have been taken towards a course, if not, there’s no need for a speech. You can work on improving your storytelling, establish interesting conflicts, make fascinating points, sell them with the push, pull, and passion approach, and use all of the nuts and bolts suggested in future newsletters, and yet you will fail to be effective if you do not put into practice the most important part of the speech – the execution, which is action based.

One of the founding fathers of philosophy, the popular Aristotle says this about speeches, “Of the modes of persuasion furnished by the spoken word there are three kinds. The first kind depends on the personal character of the speaker; the second on putting the audience into a certain frame of mind; the third on the proof, or apparent proof, provided by the words of the speech itself.“

A speech communicate ideas, intentions that should be backed up by actions that will bring about results. If you receive the ideas and do nothing with it, what you have in you is potential not substance but when you take of what has been said and rurn it into action, you will experience great results.

Little wonder that our homes are doing well, our businesses thriving fine but anything that isn’t personal suffers in our hands. Why is this so? Any person who is running a personal business is dedicated to his work, and the businesses thrive well but the moment what we do involves public sector, it will not live long to the light of the day.

“Be careful with your words. Once they are said, they can be only forgiven, not forgotten.”

Anything turned upside down, right side up works in the opposite. The ills bedeviling our societies today are all products of negative intelligence – people talking right, thinking right but acting counter productive. We, as a people have developed lying tongues, idle words and thoughtless speeches just to bamboozle the people.

We are a country full of very intelligent, well read men but our knowledge ends where it ends – cheap talk! Talking well is good but backing up our talk in key to making the job of walk your talk easy.

An old secondary school friend of mine, Zanna Abdullahi said this from an interview he watched on NTA Good Morning Nigeria and I quote, “All sentiments aside, sincerely speaking Dr. Isa Pantami is really an intelligent man, watching him on good morning Nigeria, at some points, I had to stop breathing not to miss a word from what he was about to utter… May Allah bless his knowledge.”

Dr. Pantami is a man of great repute, an erudite, acclaimed intelligent scholar, he is a Computer Scientist, lectures in 2 universities in the US, 1 in Saudi Arabia and 2 in Dubai, and a public speaker.

In honesty, I didn’t listen to that interview to know what speech he made that so caught my friend’s that much. Zanna will soon bag a Ph,D in Education Technology and for Zanna Abdullahi to be so captivated by Dr. Pantami’s speech. As much as I want to agree with Dr. Zanna on this, I also want to state with a heavy heart that Nigeria has lots of intelligent, well read and knowledgeable people out there in the diaspora, they’re so verse to be mentioned but we have remained a crippled and broke nation because we are so high on speech and so low performance.

In a way, I have done little study on this to come to the realization that there are two kinds of intelligence: Applied intelligence (negative or positive) and intelligence for showmanship.

Intelligence actually refer to acquired information. Now, it is not just enough to have information. What do you do with the information you have acquired? How do you disburse these information to benefit others?

Information is data at any stage of processing or transmission.

Information can be processed such it benefits a whole lot of people, information can also be processed to demean people. Information that benefits the public is what I termed positive intelligence and the information that defrauds and benefits a few is the one I termed positive intelligence. And all of that fall under the category of applied intelligence, which information or intelligence that is put into use by the owner.

In a nutshell, applied intelligence is a smarter, faster and more effective approach to collecting, processing and analyzing data, creating insights which help identify clear opportunities to act on, and automating those actions where possible to unlock business value.


  1. Analytics: Data has the potential to tell you everything you need to know about the world around you and inform your decision-making process. At first glance, that seems to make it valuable. But by itself, data is just data. It’s raw material. It only becomes valuable once it has been carefully analyzed and interpreted. And that means the value of your data is determined by the strength of your analytic solutions.
  2. Artificial Intelligence: In recent years, artificial intelligence has made enormous strides. It powers a wide range of ubiquitous solutions, from smart speakers that can understand users’ speech to smartphones that can recognize users’ faces. And for all these stunning advances in computer vision, natural language processing, and deep learning, the application of these technologies is still very much in its infancy. Anybody can see that AI has massive potential and lots of room to grow. But what does that really mean for your business? The key here is to understand exactly what artificial intelligence offers: it imbues machines with abilities that have traditionally been the domain of humans. This provides businesses with the best of both worlds. With a program that not only recognizes faces but interprets the emotions they display, a company might be able to more effectively pinpoint which interactions delight their customers.
  3. Automation: Advanced analytics provides the high-quality insights you need to understand your business, your market, and your customers. Modern artificial intelligence solutions can then make business decisions autonomously based on those insights. But deciding to move a mountain because you know why it should be moved is only part of the equation. In the end, you’ll still need the right lever to move it. Automation provides that lever. It’s the place where the proverbial rubber meets the road, where insights and decisions are transformed into actions. In a sense, automation is what puts the ‘applied’ in Applied Intelligence. It completes the trinity by providing the means necessary to automate key aspects of your core business, thereby turning theoretical value into real value.

Showmanship, concerning artistic performing such as in Theatre, is the skill of performing in such a manner that will appeal to an audience or aid in conveying the performance’s essential theme or message. For instance, the Canadian stage magician Doug Henning used many classic illusions in his magic show. However, he made the old material seem new by rejecting the old stylistic cliches of the art, and by presenting them with a child-like exuberance that respected the audience’s intelligence. Profitable showmanship frequently appeals to pathos. Showmen aim to display goods with tact in order to sell an object or a show. Companies producing drama and entertainment claim that displaying fairness is necessary.

In the same vein, the knowledge that only shows oratory prowess but does aim at producing evident results that benefits its owner is mere showmanship and that’s the stage we are in in this country, too many beautiful speeches people make that never amounted to anything, they only stopped at their talking stage.

Knowledge is useless if it is not meant to produce benefitial results for those who are in Its possession. However, it has become very obvious that some intelligent people only use their knowledge to only bamboozle and to install themselves as authorities over others.

Intelligence for showmanship only give accolades to the person displaying it, it only gives it’s own a euphoria of accomplishment whereas it does not bring much blessings to a majority of people.

So many Nigerians are out there working hard and tirelessly to make a better life for their families. We are men and women who think right, talk right but we act wrongly as we are unable to articulate our knowledge to bless and work for us. On a sad note, we interpolate conningness into our thoughts and use such to defraud ourselves and deplete the nation of benefitting from the wealth of knowledge we have acquired.

Please, I don’t intend for you to misunderstand me, I do not want you to think that I am misreprenting Dr. Isa Ali Pantami either. All I am trying to portray is that we should be able to move farther from rendering beautiful speeches that do not bring fruits. We can think all we can, we can talk all we can, we act all we can… but until all of our intelligent thinking, speeches and actions translate to solutions to the problems we are faced with in this country, we are not intelligent at all.

Talk is cheap, anybody can say anything… after all, people rehearse speeches and say them before others and people gawk at the intelligence of their performance like you gawk over Dr. Pantami’s. We appreciate that our Nation has such people but we will appreciate it better if our nation make a turn in the right direction with such beautiful thinking and speeches. Let those speeches and thoughts produce for us a productive and patriotic citizenship.

Until we become a people who would do everything in their power and knowledge to produce a better nation, our intelligence is nothing but hogwash. I am sorry, but that’s the truth!

We celebrate mediocrity all the time… And we do this often. It’s high time we put our acts all together to move from the position of mere talk to genuine action, it’s high time we begin to walk our talk…or we remain a nation of talkers. At the wake of each day, every system of government, every staff of government and civil life experiences a downward motion – life is becoming harder by the day for the common man and here we are singing beautiful eulogies and accolades for people who gives us the impression or appear like they have answers to our problems.

Come to think of it, is it true that the problems we have in this country are beyond answers?

No, there is no problem that does not have an answer. There’s an answer to every problem in the world but the willingness of the people to change towards making this change.

I would like us all to brood over this…

Don’t Try To Fit In!

If you are not satisfied with who you are, if you are not content with what you have, if who you are is not what you want to be, some other people are going to keep telling you what to do and how to live you life.

And foolish is a man who keeps living life on other people’s terms. You need to start making the shots for yourself… Letting people take the driver’s seat in your life only put you at their mercy. We’re all free moral agents.

Begin to exercise the authority over your life. Nobody knows what you want from your life better than yourself.

Be wise…!

You are an original, you don’t need the approval of anyone to be you. You own your own space, don’t allow anybody invade your space. And believing in yourself is key to reaching your potentials and maintaining your self respect. You should know that you’re fearfully and wonderfully created. Someone needed to hear that.

People who want to manipulate you, will always give you the impression that you’re not good enough, you’re worthy to be a part of their clique, they tell you, you have to dress in certain ways, you have to talk with certain registers to be a part of them. But you don’t have to be a part of anything. You don’t have to be a part any group that does not accept you being you, a group that takes away your person to give you a pseudo personality. You don’t belong with such a group that strips you of self respect, self confidence and self worth just so you can belong with them.

If they don’t like you the way you are, they should find themselves another buddy. You don’t belong with a naughty bunch of low esteemed lot.

It’s true that every group has certain laws, rules and regulations that govern their existence but such groups are supposed to help us be ourselves rather than encourage us to take up certain characters alien to us like having to act, speak rudely or abusively to another person so you can identify with the people you want to identify with.

There’s a category of people you just cannot deal with, no matter how hard you work to be at your best, you just cannot satisfy them. And if you look at things critically, you will discover that it’s your own way of life that intimidates them. They play you down because they think that’s the best way to take hold of you and anyone who have low self esteem will fall easily for such intimidation.

Don’t allow others to change who you are. You are being judged regardless of what you do, so being yourself makes happiness easier to obtain. Live life on your own terms, not someone else’s. Being yourself is important because you will not be happy otherwise. To make any good out of your own life, you need to learn to discover toxic relationships around you, that will help you know how to relate with people.

Last week, I was talking with someone who have always talked about America and the diaspora as if he own houses in those places and stuff because he happens to have a relation who resides in America. He keeping to me insistently, “You’re local…,” I was almost pissed off by his insistence but I realized there was no point for me to feel that about an ignorant statement.

If he considers me local just because he knows someone in America or outside the shores of Nigeria that he presume I don’t, there is no point for me to feel bad about anything after all he is just expressing who he is. If he’s in America and talking to me in that manner or if he’s ever been to America or any part of the world at all and talks in the way he talked to me, that would have had impact but he’s never stepped up a foot on a plane or a ship except probably for those times he travelled those distances in his dreams.

My reply to him was simply, “Well then, I’d rather be where I am celebrated than be where I am only tolerated.” You don’t need to be where you are not needed, fraternize with people who celebrate you. Just be your good self. You’re good just the way you are and you don’t need anybody’s approval if you’re happy with yourself.

If you are like most people, then you have probably told yourself that things would be better if there were certain changes in your life or changes to yourself. You can make those positive changes yourself. Be proactive, and have a more positive outlook about yourself.

If you’re trying to find your rhythm, here below are 10 ways to learn how to be yourself and live more happily:

  1. Don’t Aim to Please Others: You own happiness and peace of mind is more important than anything else. Being in the wrong group only affects your mental and emotional stability. There is a problem if you are never doing what you want to do, yet always doing what everyone else wants to do. This is why you shouldn’t please others but yourself. Pleasing others can be a nice thing to do, but know where your boundaries are. Instead of always aiming to please others, you should do things for yourself as well every now and then.
  2. Don’t Worry About How Others View You: Whether you live to please or make other people comfortable or keep them at ease, you’re never going to please them enough. You don’t have to give people all of your time. Occasionally thinking about how others view you may make you change for the good, but you should not be constantly wondering about what others are thinking. You should change if you want to, and change into what or who you want to change into.
  3. Learn More About Yourself: There’s more to you than you can ever imagine. Learn more about yourself to stand out. Do you know who you really are? Ever since you were young, you have been conditioned to be one way or another. It may be weird just to spend a day being your spontaneous self, but sometimes it is the only way that you can learn how to be yourself.
  4. Appreciate Who You Are: We look too much to people that we do not pay attention to ourselves. No matter how weird you are, appreciate yourself! Each person is unique, and everyone has at least a little weirdness in themselves. Appreciate your weirdness and let it out.
  5. Be Confident with Who You Are: Everyone needs to know that confidence in oneself is the key to success. No matter how good you are at anything, if you don’t believe in yourself, in your abilities, you can’t go anywhere. Do you ever doubt yourself? Doubting yourself can be very easy if you are constantly comparing yourself to others and wondering “What if?” Instead of doubting yourself all the time, you should be confident with yourself and who you are. Showing confidence in yourself and your decisions will also show to others that you know what you are doing.
  6. Forgive Yourself: What is it you didn’t do right? We don’t always get it right. If you have failed before, if you’ve been beating yourself over something, if you’ve not been thinking right, forgive yourself for thinking negatively. Forgive yourself for talking, without thinking twice. Forgive yourself for being rude to your superiors, your friends, your parents, or your siblings. Don’t think negative thoughts about yourself for taking wrong steps or making wrong decisions. This kind of thinking puts your focus on the problem and not the solution. It’s better to say good things about yourself than to say negative things. Always saying positive things about yourself is a sign that you have forgiven yourself.
  7. Stop Being Negative About Yourself: The fact that you missed it again does not stamp as not good enough, you need to stop thinking negative of yourself and start doing what you should have done long time ago. Do you look at everything as a glass half full or a glass half empty? It can be easy to be negative about yourself. When it comes to being happy, it is vital that you learn how to be yourself and to be more positive. You’re the one to complete the game, you’re the one to make it happen, there are no negatives anywhere than the ones we make.
  8. Find a Hobby That You Love: I have always love writing and music ever since I realized I could do it. I don’t have a fantastic voice really but I just do it the way I know best. What do you live for? What can you die for? Everyone has something that they live for or that they love to do. Figure out what you love to do and make a hobby out of it. Doing what you love can make you much happier.
  9. Learn from Your Mistakes: We always say this statement, “Experience is the best teacher” how many times do we really learn from those mistakes? Do we ever learn from our mistakes? You can really learn more about yourself when you make a mistake. Here is why you should be proud of making mistakes. Mistakes in your life do not always need to be seen negatively. Think about what went wrong, learn from it, and move on.
  10. Strive for What You Want to Accomplish: Goals should be set and when we set them, we need to strategize on how to pursue them. Our goals should also be within our ability to achieve them. Being yourself does not have to mean that you have to be stuck in status quo. Aim for what you want to achieve and strive for that accomplishment. You can improve yourself while still remaining true to yourself.

Nobody can accomplish anything at all without believing that you possess the capability to achieve what you have set your mind to do. Self-trust means that you can take care of your needs and safety, Wall said. It means you trust yourself to survive situations, and practice kindness, not perfection. It means you refuse to give up on yourself, she said. In The Courage to Trust Wall lists other components that encompass self-trust.

We don’t seems to realize it, and it’s really hard to believe it that “Everyone in your life has the potential of betraying you,” says Cynthia Wall, LCSW, a psychotherapist in private practice in Northern California.

I am telling you what I have experienced, I’m not telling you something I heard someone told me or said to me. In your journey of discovering destiny, you’re going to come across all manner of people, maybe teachers, maybe mentors, maybe family, friends and most especially haters.

Some of these people may not actually have the intention to want to betray you but situations may warrant it. Something may just happen, they may leave. They may pass away. They may make a rude comment. They may cheat. They may lie. They may disappoint you in many different ways.

“We can’t count on anybody 100 percent.” This doesn’t mean we should isolate ourselves or harden our hearts. But it does stress the importance of being able to trust the one person we know we can count on: ourselves.

Whatever happens as you journey on, just keep going, keep at what you are doing and never look back. And if you’re looking backwards, let it be that you’re only making reference not gloating over lost time, resources or friends. Let the past go away with its pains.

If your life is run or ruled by other people’s opinions about you, if you do not trust yourself enough to make the right decisions you are half way to your own destruction. Nobody can live your life for you, you have to live for yourself. Well, that does not rule out the fact that people can make suggestions into what you do but they should not be the determining factor of what or who you should be.

Everyone wants to be more confident, but not everyone knows how to be assertive. Assertive falls right between passive and aggressive. If you’re passive about voicing your opinion, you may come across as submissive. And if you are aggressive with your viewpoint, you may come across as a hostile or, even worse, a bully.

But if you learn to be assertive, you can express yourself without being passive or aggressive, and you will have a better chance of getting what you want.

Be assertive, be decisive. Assertiveness is the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive. In the field of psychology and psychotherapy, it is a skill that can be learned and a mode of communication.

Here are seven simple ways to help yourself become more assertive.

  1. Understand Assertiveness: Holding one’s opinions highly, respecting your opinions on certain issues of life. Assertiveness is an interpersonal skill in which you demonstrate the healthy confidence to stand up for yourself while still respecting the rights of others. When you are assertive, you are neither passive nor aggressive, but direct and honest. You don’t expect other people to know what you want, so you speak up to ask for what you need calmly and with confidence.
  2. Keep Your Communication Style In Line: Having an opinion and being able to communicate it to your target audience. When it comes to being assertive, communication style is critical, and the key is to be respectful of those with whom you are trying to communicate. Pay attention to your body language as well as the words you say, and make sure you’re congruent in your words, body language, and tone. Never expect people to read your mind; if you want something, say so, and if something bothers you, speak up. Look confident when making a request or stating a preference. Stand up straight, lean in a bit, smile or keep a neutral facial expression, and look the person in the eye.
  3. Understand And Accept Differences: To have an opinion is also to understand that others have their own views on the same issue, your ability to see or consider other people’s point of view on a matter. Assertiveness doesn’t mean being dismissive of other people’s points of view. Just as you state your own opinion, you work to understand other points of view. Don’t allow differences to upset you or make you angry; remember that differences don’t necessarily mean you are right and the other person is wrong. Try to understand their point of view. Listen respectfully and don’t interrupt when they are speaking.
  4. Speak Simply and Directly: In making or communicating a view, having people understand what you’re communicating to the understanding of all. When you’re practicing assertiveness, it’s important to speak in a way that doesn’t imply accusations or make the other person feel guilty. Speaking your truth with candor shouldn’t mean making others feel wrong. Be simple, direct, and concise, and state what you know to be true for you. When asserting yourself, remember, less is more. Keep your requests free of meandering or long-winded explanations.
  5. Exercise The Power Of “I:” Lots of people have the habit of forcing their opinions on people, when you speak with people, make it a habit to make suggestions rather than enforcing yoir views. To be assertive without coming across as hostile, use “I” statements. Make it a habit to say things like “I think …” or “I feel …. ” Never use aggressive language or phrases like “You never… ” or “You always…. ” These statements trigger other people, leaving them frustrated, and they shut down conversation. “I” statements allow you to be confident and assertive without alienating and eliminating other people.
  6. Stay Calm: It’s so easy to assertiveness for aggression especially when we’re insistent on the point we are trying to communicate. Make your point in in a calm but sternly. Being assertive might make you feel excited, but excitement can sometimes come across as aggression. Learn to stay cool and calm when expressing yourself; it will make you more confident and allow the other person to relax. Remember to breathe normally and be mindful of body language and eye contact. Be present with each other. Calm mind, calm speech, calm action–it not only gives you confidence, but allows the other person to remain composed as well.
  7. Set Boundaries: At any heated point in relating to people what you believe in, you should draw a line when to put a stop if it becomes a heated situation or argument. Boundaries are the rules and limits you create for yourself that help you decide what you will and won’t allow. You don’t want people to walk all over you, but you don’t want people to think you are a bully, either. Setting boundaries will empower you to know when you need to say yes and when you want to say no. Assertiveness is like any other skill–it takes practice and time to get it right. Keep working through each of these techniques and soon you will feel more confident.

We are ever going to have moments in life when we are expected to decisively state or address a matter, you have to prove yourself worthy of running your own life because you owe it to yourself. We grow from being a child to adolescence and then to adulthood where we man up to begin to provide leadership for our own household. When we grow, we lead and who would you lead if you’re not able to lead yourself?

Your powers are all within you, the choice is absolutely yours to make, to take up responsibilities or abdicate. No matter how much people think or believe in you, there are certain situations when your view point or decisions about an issue will be required because the future of your family depend on it. Choose right!

The Struggle!

In spite of all the pressing hatred and aggressions leveling against the Black race, we have maintained, extended love and forgiveness towards our aggressors.

Revenge has never been an option for us in dealing with the hands of oppression visited on us.

Black is truly a special, perfect gift from above, coming from the Father of light in whom there’s no variableness nor shadow of turning.

Ingratitude would have been our lot supposed we had asked for anything more or less than our nature because that is one thing no one can trade for another. As you already know, no mortal constituted a part of the decision making of the creation committee. As to whether we, Black people should be created with such beauty and strength was solely God’s decision, and we appreciate every thing He did on our behalf. We’re just perfect the way we are!

As a people, we’re only grateful that we just got it on a platter because heaven saw the need to create something different of us, something human, something black, something strong, bold and beautiful. We are a unique specie, we know it and there’s nothing anyone can do to change it, not even those of us who regret this awesome gift.

Pardon my speculations, I am only juxtaposing… I am sort of imagining what would have been going on in the minds of those forefathers of ours as they were tied up in shackles, bounds hand and feet in the inside of those ships and transported all around the world to be used as beasts of burden and the following struggles for freedom even after slavery was abolished and to date.

The murder of George Floyd by those white police men has just awoken grave agitations in the past few months – the protests and demands for justice and equity for the Black race in the United States and around the world. This and numerous other cases of Black people treated differently by white police men as well as other cases of the maltreatment against the Black race has opened our eyes to address these issues for the last time.

The need to demand for the recognition and safety of black lives around the world has become cogent.

Like the whites, the black race have contributed immensely to humanity even much more. We have sacrificed energy, our freedom, and our lives for nothing. We deserve compensation, we deserve some respect to be accorded to us by those who took away our freedom and treated us inhumanely. There is no part of the world that the black race did not help in building. The struggle for freedom and equality of the black people and their white counterparts has been one we have fought for for many years gone.

Taking you back in time, throughout the 17th and 18th centuries, people were kidnapped from the continent of Africa, forced into slavery in the American colonies and exploited to work as indentured servants and labor in the production of crops such as tobacco and cotton. By the mid-19th century, America’s westward expansion and the abolition movement provoked a great debate over slavery that would tear the nation apart in the bloody Civil War. Though the Union victory freed the nation’s four million enslaved people, the legacy of slavery continued to influence American history, from the Reconstruction era to the civil rights movement that emerged a century after emancipation.

Rebellions among enslaved people did occur – notably ones led by Gabriel Prosser in Richmond in 1800 and by Denmark Vesey in Charleston in 1822 few were successful.

The revolt that most terrified enslavers was that led by Nat Turner in Southampton County, Virginia, in August 1831. Turner’s group, which eventually numbered around 75 Black men, murdered some 55 white people in two days before armed resistance from local white people and the arrival of state militia forces overwhelmed them.

Supporters of slavery pointed to Turner’s rebellion as evidence that Black people were inherently inferior barbarians requiring an institution such as slavery to discipline them, and fears of similar insurrections led many southern states to further strengthen their slave codes in order to limit the education, movement and assembly of enslaved people.

Those were gruesome times for the Black man. Black people have been offended, no one can undo what has happened but we can find a way to forge ahead, heal wounds created in our hearts and minds. If we must live in peace, hence, we must find ways to settle these differences between the Black and White races.

Now, in our days, a forum was organized to discuss possible measures to look into to solve and bring about lasting peace, harmony and healings to the ugly situation amongst the black and white people around the world today. As it is, whites are afraid as the population of Blacks is increasing and black people are becoming educationally savvy, they’re afraid that the Blacks will someday seek revenge against the evil that the white race have committed against Black people.

Amongst the resources persons in that panel of interviewers was Dr. Louis Farakhan. Louis Farakhan is a Muslim, the leader of the Nations of Islam (NOI) BY. Farakhan was born as Louis Eugene Walcot to Christian parents; Sarah Mae Manning (January 16, 1900 – November 18, 1988) and Percival Clark, immigrants from the Anglo-Caribbean islands. His mother was born in Saint Kitts, while his father was Jamaican. The couple separated before their second son was born, and Farrakhan says he never knew his biological father.

The process of healing and forgiveness for both the Black and White folks should commence and we need to do that soonest so as to avert the looming danger this animosity potent in the nearest future..

Sometimes, you won’t blame people for misquoting other people because it is everyone is around that is truly present – people can be physically present in a conversation but their minds are wandering away to some other issues. When we listen to other people talk, often times, we don’t really pay attention to what they’re saying even when we do, we don’t listen to them with an open mind. Some of us already have a made up our minds as we listen to people talk. they have already decided what they want to hear and if it does not come, We have decided what response to give to what they’re saying because of the preconceived notion we have developed about the person or issue in discuss.

Obviously, Mr. Agbessi mind was already set. He did not listened to what Dr. Farakhan said or rather, let’s say he heard. Maybe he was not paying attention to what was being said. If he did listem, he would have known that his addiction had no correlation with Dr. Farakhan’s explanations on that matter.

Dr. Louis Farakhan has been a religious leaders and a Civil Rights Activists for for long. If you’re interested to know, he was born a Christian until it seemed like Christianity was like the vehicle to burden the black man.

In their thoughts, the white man gave us the Bible with the left hand and takes away our pride, freedom, rights as a human beings with the right hand. It was in such a confusing situation back then. Farakhan then, joined the Nation’s of Islam, a Muslim movement that gave them freedom to stand against the trade (slavery). That’s how the likes of Malcolm X and a host of others became Muslims. Louise Farakhan has verse knowledge on these issues.

Standing here to judge what that man said as not appropriate just shows your ignorance of what was said by Mr. Farakhan or you really didn’t follow him up to the end.

The world cannot just stand aloof and expect this problems to just fade away or sort themselves out because they won’t. People must sit down to dialogue. Let’s find out why the issue is still lingering if slavery has been abolished some many years ago. The Slave Trade Act outlawed the slave trade in the British Empire in 1807 and the Slavery Abolition Act of 1833 outlawed slavery all together. With slaves escaping to New York and New England, legislation for gradual emancipation was passed in Upper Canada (1793) and Lower Canada (1803).

But people are not just going to heal easily, the trauma, the memories, the aggression is not just going to fade away by a wave of hand. We must heal, we must find a way to forge ahead from this place where we are.

This is not just a problem of police demeaning blackmen issue now. I think that the problem is ingrained. This is an issue of sheer malice and gross ambiguation that needs to be addressed in haste so that we do not allow this issue to linger and escalate to a level that would be so difficult to manage. The police seem to have taken a hold of it and have upheld it to a an alarming level that has become too obvious because they do not conceal their vexation and dislike of the Black people. And so the people are are now openly revolting against the maltreatment of the police force. The animosity against Black people seemed to have become a police issue. The white community noticed that and so they will call it a police case by alerting the police against any Black man they don’t seem to like.

A writer in the United States, Jason Reid had this to say on the matter, “Whether it’s an international or domestic terrorist-involved event, problems between police officers and citizens or, now, police officers being massacred, it’s all really sad to watch, and my heart goes out to the families. And it’s also painful to see what it means for our country as we try to figure everything out and move forward. We have some serious problems in this country. We’ve had serious problems for a long time, and everything is coming to a head now.

When you talk about racism, when you talk about black and white and how we see things totally differently, it’s bad. That’s obvious. We view the world through our own lens and our own biases. How many of us don’t even want to put our feet in someone else’s shoes because we’re so ingrained in what we think? That’s a problem.

It’s most evident when you have a situation like we had in Baton Rouge or Minnesota. … I hate to even use the terms “they” or “white America” or “black America,” but for the sake of conversation I will. What we’re seeing on social media and what we’re seeing with what I posted [on Facebook] is that the Black Lives Matter [movement] is offensive to some white people.”

I do not know how possible this is going to be, but I think maybe a delegate of all the different races of the world should be inaugurated from different countries of the world to sit down to discuss this problem and find possible solutions and common grounds for forgiveness amongst the races where people have been hurt, where hurting things have been said, forgiveness should ensue.

Until we’re able to talk these things over, forgiveness each other for all the hurts and evil we have done against one another, these problems are far from being solved. People heal when they’re allowed to speak out their minds, when they’re able to find some air to breath again after being stifled and snuffed of their rights to express themselves, when they’re cautious of the fact someone out somewhere is looking for ways to nail th for some offenses they probably did not commit.

In conclusion, whether we like it or not, whether you’re black or white, colored or not, we have all come to stay. There’s no ousting any anyone, it’s not in my place to do so, it’s not in your place to want to take anyone or any race out – there’s no human being on this planet that has that right because we did not create anybody. God in heaven is the only being who reserves that right to boast or take out anyone He wants, if He wants to.

I would love to share with you this ode written by my humble self, titled: “Are You Shamed By This Beauty?”

  1. Blackness isn’t a curse: Black is beautiful; it’s rare, a sure threat to those intimidated by it’s awe. Black is the magical skin color that blacks out the freckles of life.
  2. We are Black, there’s no altering this fact. But for those who regret their Blackness, maybe you’re not worthy of it. Find something else to wash it off you cause you’re shamed by it.
  3. We are Black, we didn’t create our skin color, it’s our signature of identity. There was none, there’s none, there’s never going to be one Blackman asking for this identity. It comes with our DNA.
  4. Why blame it on us? We didn’t steal it to own it. We just got lucky nature assigned it to us, such wonderful skin color. So proud we are to wear upon our bodies. the beauty of creation!
  5. Black, we’re a cynosure of courage, strength, humility, true love, tolerance, intelligence, forgiveness, talent and awesome beauty bestowed upon the black skin adorning our bodies.
  6. Black, the very essence of life’s purpose. Black, sure resilience from the inside and out… this skin type is simply enduring and agelessly Black, a blessing for longevity!

Navy Seaman Haruna Goshit, X14608!

When a same ranking officer picks a fight with another of his rank, that will be an easy fight to engage.

For a superior officer to the caliber of a Rear Admiral to haunt a mere Seaman, that only spells doom for the young officer.

But then, that is not a fight the officer, Navy Seaman Haruna Goshit picked for himself, that is seemingly an aggression he might have inherited unknowingly or one that was brought to extort, humiliate and frustrate his career.

May you find help for the enormous, weight of trouble that has visited you.

Recently, Rear Admiral IO Mohammed was commissioned to take over as Chief of Naval Safety and Standards, Naval Headquarters, this is a big shot in the navy.

I am sure Seaman Haruna Goshit felt very happy when it turned out he was the only officer Rear Admiral Mohammed picked to work with him. To this young officer, joy and elation filled his heart to have been called to work with such a superior officer. I am sure in his mind, favor knocked at his doors. But little did he know the what was coming.

This gentle, young officer, Navy Seaman Haruna Goshit, X14608 has raised a petition against his superior officer and boss, Rear Admiral IO Mohammed to whom he is an orderly on the grounds of maltreatment and extortion. Seaman Haruna Goshit and two others were nominated to stand as orderly to their superior officer, Rear Admiral IO Mohammed. According to the young officer, his boss picked only him and send others back to headquarters.

Things turned sour for Haruna when Oga turned out to begin to extort money from him without refunding, not allowing him go home to burry his father when the old man died, punishing him over and again on issues of no consequences, sending him out at ungodly hours to night clubs to accompany and keep guard over his children as they club, unarmed. He has done all manner evils against this young officer, as far as striking him on his head, punishing him severally, and all manner of risky errands he was made to run for his boss, and being punished without a cause.

I have sat myself down to ask why would this young officer bring up all these? Aren’t these mere allegations? But why would anyone speak such against his superior who in some way has the power to determine his success or downfall in his chosen career? It takes courage to do so. This young officer must have a genuine case to stand upon to raise such seeming allegations.

As it is, no civilians can save this young officer from the wrath of his boss, since the issue has gone as far as the naval base, Defense Headquarters but no solution or justification for this young officer, not even a form of reprimand from the navy to this superior officer, that isn’t fair. Is that to mean that this superior officer is above the law? Why can’t he be reprimanded by the navy for maltreating this young officer?

This should not be a case for civilians to dabble into but considering the extend to which this issue has gone without resolve, this young officer is left to heaven (God) to decide his fate. And we all know that God uses humans to provide answers to our problems. We should be concerned about this problem. However, it should be our business because issues of human right violation should be everybody’s concern because that could be you or one of your own. If your rights are infringed upon, what will be your response? I know you will go all out to seek justice.

From this young man’s story, he has gone as far as he could go and has come to the end of the road for him. He has gone to the highest authority in the navy to seek redress to his situation, yet, he’s not been able to find solution to this predicament. And since this has defied solution from the naval authority, maybe, going public with this broadcast could bring this superior officer back to order.

As far as justice and fairness is concerned, this whole episode does not put the navy in good light at all. The armed force should be a place for justice, equity and fairness. Well, the navy should tell us better.

It’s a very sad story to tell that a young soldier is being bullied by a superior officer and cannot find solution from the entire armed forces of Nigeria. No, this means that we have a big problem in our hands, it means that this country is in complete mess. Nobody is safe here! We don’t have any protection in this country.

The integrity of Nigerian armed forces cannot and should be tarnished by a single officer his rank not withstanding. The armed force is a ground that seek the justice and protection of the citizenry. This Creed cannot be undermined by a single officer who would refuse to do what is right.

And we know that the law does not protect bullies over the downtrodden, the law protects the weak against the oppression of strong men.

We call on the Navy Headquarters to look into this matter once again with the mind to provide a lasting solution for this junior officer.

This isn’t a fight Haruna can or should run away from, neither it is one he can avert because this is a fight that haunts him. It is a fight that has come to stay, a fight that seeks to end his career or maybe his life, who knows how far this issue may escalate to. Goshit might have to either face it headlong or back out of the navy. At this point, that seems like the situation of things. But it is even cowardice to run away because the armed forces does not teach cowardice. Rather, it teaches men to face their fears…, either way, Navy Seaman Haruna is still in deep trouble whether he is right or wrong, now that he has brought the case this far…

Instead of running away, he has the choice to face it squarely and watch what fate has in stock for him.

Once again, we call on the Nigerian Armed Force to please address this problem to provide to whom is deserving – Rear Admiral IO Mohammed or Navy Seaman Haruna Goshit to avoid one wrong officer from staining and destroying the respect and integrity of the entire Armed Force of Nigeria.

To this end, we only pray that the Nigerian Armed Force will pay close attention to this matter to tamper justice and peace to the parties involved in this case.

So far, the eyes of the world is upon the Armed Force as they look into this case. May God give them the wisdom and guidance to deal with the case fairly as well as decisively to restore respect to the armed forces.

Everything will workout for the good of those who are the called according to His divine purpose. May you find Divine intervention as you judge this case.

Patriotism Per Excellence!

When we have misconception about a thing, we act in a manner contrary to the natural way things should operate.

We need to seek better knowledge of a everything in order to make things function as they were designed to function – this gives better understanding on ways to get ahead against all the oddities life throws at us...

I believe that whether one is a citizen of a nation or not, if you reside in that nation, you owe that nation some respect, it may not be patriotism but it could loyalty, which is a younger brother to patriotism.

As citizen of a country residing in another country, you’re expected to honor that country of residence, you may not need to be patriotic to that country but show your allegiance to your home country, you may need to show or accord some respect to that country because the issue of patriotism isn’t or should not just something you wear around when you want to but it should be ingrained like a part of one’s DNA. You cannot be separated from your DNA, that’s a part of signature that sticks with you till your death, patriotism is/should be like a DNA, it should go with you wherever you go except otherwise. Your respect for people and other countries shows your love and patriotism to your home country. That, in my opinion is the way it should be.

So, as a true Nigerian, wherever I travel to or reside, America or any part of the world, I should respect and express my love and my Nigerianness even in the country of residence, America or elsewhere because being a patriot does not come from profession. A patriot is who we are, it is what comes from deep within us, patriotism is ingrained, it does not come into existence overnight. Patriotism is a lifestyle of faithfulness, loyalty, it’s a lifetime time thing like a DNA.

So, if I visit a country like America or any other Nation I might want to visit, I should carry along with me the dignity of my patriotism to everywhere I go to, except when I leave Nigeria completely and become a nationalist of another country, then, my allegiance changes. However, in a way, I still owe loyalty to my home of birth because it share in my story.

I want to believe that God does not make mistakes, giving birth to us wherever He has chosen place us in as our place of originality. There’s a purpose behind everything God has done and as individuals, we must respect that purpose which He has purported for us.

A friend, Mrs. Veronica Na’anma Pongvel asked this question and it set me up into thinking. She asked, “Patriotism per excellence. How soon shall we get to this stage in Nigeria?”

And I had this to say, the day we begin to abhor self centeredness and personal aggrandizement and begin to embrace the true sense of worth and dequorum for the home God has given you. The moment we begin to place priority, some value and respect for what is right and truth, only then would this country begin to have or see a future. When we place national interest first than ethnic and tribal sentiments, we would still have a very long way to go. When this nation, Nigeria becomes our dream, our vision and our mission, we will remain at a cross road.

It should, Nigeria first before our wants, we should be aware that the notion “The National Cake” Nigerians have developed must die from us first before the country will be able to see any future. When public office workers assume positions in public offices, they should not go there with the mindset.

As that kind of mindset is the disease that has eaten up this country and grinded us to this level where we are in right now. You must burry that evil plan in you heart, I must burry that evil plan in my heart for us to unanimously build the country we all desire for Nigeria to be. That notion “the national cake” must die from the mind of every true and patriotic Nigerian. The National Cake is not growing, rather, it is depleting by the day as every mouth comes to take and not build it up. Our mindset needs to change to coming to build and replenish the National Cake do others after us can see something to work with as our time elapses and we hand over to the next generation.

We must understand that we need to leave a good legacy for our children if we expect them to leave same for the children after them. We must understand that whatever we do with our lives in this nation, we pass it on to the next generation as an inheritance and may God forgive us that we pass unto our children a failed nation.

Our love and respect for money and material wealth is th bane of this niggling problems. When emphasis is placed on just get rich and not helping the people to know and place more emphasis on the avenue through which our wealth is acquired, there is a problem.

Where does patriotism begins? What does it take to be patriotic?

Patriotism is when we say no to everything that denigrate our love for our fatherland, our country. Patriotism is placing national building and interest first to anything else, respecting and upholding its laws and Creed in high honor. Loyalty and patriotism go hand in hand only that one is referred to country and the other toa course or people.

There are five types of patriotism, yet, each plays a vital role in building national interest. These includes the following: We can distinguish five types of patriotism, and each needs to be judged on its merits:

  1. Extreme Patriotism: Patriotism is defined as devoted love, support and defense of one’s country; national loyalty. Nationalism, on the other hand, to quote Albert Einstein, “is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind.” Nationalism is an extreme form of patriotism, often related to a feeling of superiority over other countries. In the U.S., many citizens’ expression of patriotism is beginning to bleed into nationalism, which should be concerning for humans as a whole. Nationalism leads people to think in a combative “us-against-them” mindset, as well as cultivating a sense of superiority that is damaging to our global relationships. It also tends to replace actual thoughtful analysis and critical inquiry with blind justifications in order to feel good about ourselves and our country.
  2. Robust Patriotism: Love can be hard to explain. There’s no formula to how it works, but you know it when it’s there. You know when it moves you, or when it gets you worked up. What’s true for a love of a person is also true for a love of country. Most of us will have an affection for Australia. It isn’t always something we find easy to express. Emotions rarely are. Love can be hard to explain. There’s no formula to how it works, but you know it when it’s there. You know when it moves you, or when it gets you worked up. What’s true for a love of a person is also true for a love of country. Most of us will have an affection for Australia. It isn’t always something we find easy to express. Emotions rarely are. Patriotism comes in many forms. The Australian kind can be as much about a connection with the landscape, as it is about history and family. For others, it can be something that is civic and democratic. More often than not, it involves a mixture of these elements. Perhaps the most affirming patriotism I see is at citizenship ceremonies. When migrants come here and decide to join us as citizens, it says something about the place: that it’s a country people want to make theirs. There’s a sense of renewal in being reminded Australia is a project that people want to be part of. I think of my own history. One of my most vivid childhood memories is being with my parents when we were naturalised. Like so many other new citizens, my parents and I were enormously proud we were Australians – and that we had certificates to prove it. If you’ve never been to a citizenship ceremony before, make a point of going to one, maybe even one today. On paper, it can sound like a soulless or bureaucratic exercise. But the ceremony is uplifting. It’s a ritual that refills our reservoir of hope. I remember one particular ceremony I attended some years ago. A new citizen from Malaysia turned up wearing khaki shirt and shorts, and a wide-brimmed hat – a larrikin tribute to Steve Irwin. Another new citizen, from New Zealand, cheerfully cried “Aussie, Aussie, Aussie” when he got his certificate – with an “Oi, Oi, Oi” coming back from the audience. Yes, it was daggy, but in no way did it diminish the occasion. If Scott Morrison had his way, of course, there’d be formal dress codes at citizenship ceremonies. It’s likely you wouldn’t get such relaxed good humour or laid-back celebration. You wouldn’t get such a relaxed spirit of play. Which brings us to one problem. Patriotism and politics don’t often make a good mix. When national pride is made compulsory, or when officials dictate what form it must take, it can become too stiff and formal. An obvious example is America. I’m one of many who finds the American style of patriotism a bit heavy, at least for our sensibilities. Think of flags mounted on front porches, school children pledging their allegiance every morning, and politicians sporting a national flag pin on their lapel. The other danger with patriotism is it can mutate into aggressive national pride. When it’s not restrained, a love of country can turn jealous and violent. Jingoism is patriotism’s ugly sibling. As Australians, we haven’t tended to conduct overt displays of patriotism. Our style is more typically laconic and understated. Only during the past two decades have we seen people embrace the national flag in public displays. The cry of “Aussie, Aussie, Aussie” – particularly since the Cronulla riot of 2005 – can now assume a menacing edge. These aren’t reasons, however, to reject or abandon patriotism. Doing so surrenders patriotism to those who claim it for chauvinistic purposes. Besides, it’s possible to have a love of country that is authentic and generous. One that is confident rather than defensive. One that understands that loving your country means sometimes challenging your fellow citizens. It’s a mistake, for example, to believe that any questioning of January 26 is somehow “un-Australian”. National days should be occasions to unite all of us. When they don’t, it’s only right to ask why. It’s now clear that January 26 is a date that can’t be truly unifying. With good reason, many Aboriginal Australians regard it as a day for mourning, not a day for celebration. To dismiss that involves a failure of empathy and imagination. We’d be better with a different date. As a republican, I’d say an obvious new day would be the one which coincides with us becoming a republic. In the meantime, let’s aim for a more robust patriotism. Too often, patriotic postures are used to shut down debates about national identity. But a real patriotism can withstand self-criticism. Real patriots wouldn’t be so fragile and so prone to hurt feelings. Indeed, the best kind of patriotism isn’t one that dogmatically insists on “my country, right or wrong”. It isn’t one that requires conspicuous displays of pride. If you genuinely love your country, you can choose to wear it lightly. And you can consider it an obligation to criticise your country, because you want to see it set right.
  3. Moderate Patriotism: The term “moderate patriotism” was introduced to show that there are alternatives to nationalist and xenophobic types of patriotism. While extreme patriotism involves concern for one’s own country and no concern for others, moderate patriotism combines special concern for one’s country with some level of concern for people in other countries. Extreme patriotism sets the highest importance on promoting the country’s interests and well-being while rejecting any constraints on the means by which this may be done. Moderate patriotism also promotes the country’s well-being, but it only approves of means that are consistent with the rights of people in other countries. Moderate patriotism faces criticisms from two sides. Extreme patriots reject it for not being patriotic enough. Global universalists (also called cosmopolitans) reject moderate patriotism because patriotism gives priority to the needs and interests of its own country and fails to treat all people of all countries equally. An important but neglected issue for moderate patriots concerns the extent of the duties that moderate patriots have to people of other countries. How much must moderate patriots do to help non-compatriots? While this chapter presents no solution, it describes four possible levels of duties of assistance to foreign people, all of which differ in the type of duties that are recognized and the degree of demandingness that each type accepts. In the course of describing the criticisms of patriotism by global universalists, one thing that emerges is that there are at least two forms of global universalism, one of which adheres to a strict form of equality for all and the second of which allows some degree of partiality, including patriotic partiality. This second view remains distinct from patriotism, but it narrows the gap between a form of globalism and moderate patriotism. Other topics that are discussed include (1) how to define patriotism and its subspecies, (2) whether being patriotic is a duty for all people (3) how priority to some people can be compatible with belief in all people being morally equal, and (4) an analysis of Alistair MacIntyre’s criticisms of moderate patriotism. In the conclusion, several areas for further research are described.
  4. Deflated Patriotism: From the word to deflate means to reduce in degree or flattened. Boston has a history of Patriotism unlike any other city from sea to shining sea – just ask Paul, as it is “Revered”. And if anything comes from this latest “Bulimichick Cheating” spree, it is the name “Patriot” banned from use by this team, as Belichick has a proven record of a “cheating” disorder that is no different then an ISIS beheading “disorder” upon an innocent journalist – as it is all for the winning and not for the sport and true sports fans that want some semblance of “sportsmenship” as a fundametal “mission”, well we are being held for “ransom” like those hostages! What’s wrong with America? What are we trying to teach our youth, that cheating is OK in efforts to get ahead for that “mighty buck” in return as a reward? Football coaches cheating and 2-year old kids killing themselves with the family gun, our “State of the Union”! Yes, we live in fear so stay so “Trigger” ready and at the same time we “cheer” for the crooks that believe cheating is OK. No wonder our youth are committing suicide at alarming rates, as what life is this for the honest few? “Patriotism” a rare find these days! And I have already found something to do during “Super Bowel” Sunday, and it ain’t affiliated with a couch potato mentality, as even the commercials or halftime entrapment entertainment are not worth the bother as it enriches the crooks and crocks playing the game.
  5. Ethical Patriotism: Are you patriotic? Should you be patriotic? Should you encourage others to be patriotic? These questions provoke conflicting reactions among different people. For some, patriotism is unquestionably a high moral virtue, and to call a person a patriot – better still, a true patriot – is the greatest of compliments. For others, patriotism is an object of suspicion, derided as ignorant and feared as warlike. Any attempt to explain the morality of patriotism encounters several deeply contested problems, both theoretical and practical. the morality of patriotism is intimately connected with controversies concerning such topics as character and motivation, human nature, citizenship, the role of the state, political identity and obligation, and the basic structure of morality. Disagreements about patriotism rest partly upon disagreements about how humans think and behave and about the reality of the conditions we face in the actual world. There is much to be learned about patriotism through empirical studies in history, psychology, sociology, and political science. But the question of whether we should be patriotic is an ethical question, requiring philosophical investigation. To evaluate patriotism, we need to achieve a better understanding of the concept of patriotism, so that we know what we are talking about; we need to discriminate between different possible kinds of patriotism; and we need to decide whether patriotism is a moral virtue or vice and whether it is morally required, morally optional, or morally prohibited. We need to decide.

Patriotism raises questions of the sort that philosophers characteristically discuss: How is patriotism to be defined? How is it related to similar attitudes, such as nationalism? What is its moral standing: is it morally valuable or perhaps even mandatory, or is it rather a stance we should avoid?

Yet, until a few decades ago, philosophers used to show next to no interest in the subject. The article on patriotism in the Historical Dictionary of Philosophy, reviewing the use of the term from the 16th century to our own times, gives numerous references, but they are mostly to authors who were not philosophers. Moreover, of the few well known philosophers cited, only one, J. G. Fichte, gave the subject more than a passing reference – and most of what Fichte had to say actually pertains to nationalism, rather than patriotism (see Busch and Dierse 1989).

Therefore, if you are a Nigerian, be a patriotic Nigerian wherever you are in the world. Your Nigerianness must show that’s the only way you can prove this country worthy of recognition by other countries of the world.

There’s no better way to show you are a true Nigerian if you keep playing us down and reducing us to nothing, you can’t be the one doing all the bad things in the name of a Nigerian and expect other countries to respect the country you come from. We all need to change the bad name we have created for ourselves to gain some respect for this country.

I am a Nigerian and I am proud of it…

A Refuge And Fortress!

“Supposedly, the Church is a healing ground, a place where everyone is welcomed; whether they’re good or bad people. It’s a place where anyone who has made bad or wrong choices in life find solace, a place where the battered and wounded in spirit find healing and direction.”

When we leave Church after a service session, it is expected that our cares and worries will disappear because our hearts and spirits have encountered a greater power, the power of liberation...

But reversed is the case, people leave the Church these days twice battered than they went it because of the ugly politics in Church.

The Church is the body of Christ, United in spirit and fellowship in spite of their denominations and Creed, in spite of the tribe and ethnicity of the congregants. In the true sense of definition, the Church is a warm, supportive body of believers with a strong focus on community, a place where you might be exploring, or looking to learn more about faith in Christ’s saving grace.

Today, the Church has rather become a place that hurts and manipulates people. Christ, in His ministry taught us not to entertain fear of any sort, “…do not be anxious about anything but by prayer and supplication, make your requests known and the peace of God that passes all understanding will guide your heart and soul.”


We have all manner of teachers today, who teach us what they know we want to hear so they can keep their congregation. The Church has become mere structures, beautiful edifices, built to impress, built to pull and attract the crowd, a multitude of people. It is a place where ministers instill fear in the minds of the congregation.

They teach you so much about demons pursuing after you, telling you that you need to go for deliverance, that you need some protection. As much as that is good, you also need to know that you’re delivered from every power of the devil when you become a believer. And if you have been in Church all these years, is it possible that you would be living with demons in the inside of you? Can demons live and survive comfortably in the house of God? Does that counseling really make any sense?

Demons saw Jesus Christ and they trembled, begging Him not to destroy them but you tell that we have been living with demons in the house of God all these years that we have been in Church? Then, that Church is not of God. The people live in that fear and bondage all their days, ignorant of this truth that Christ has taken away our sins during His death upon the cross many years ago.

Jesus told us in the gospel according to John 16:33, He said, “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” He went further to strengthen our faith and believe in Him in I John 5:4 by stating this fact “For whatsovever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.”

To say someone has made a bad choice could be termed relative. Relative in the sense that what might be considered as bad choice to one, could be the best of choices to another it all depends on individuals. We derive our definitions on the premise of individual perceptions. Meaning that our definitions of the phrase is based on personal consideration of what is a bad or good choice. Because bad choices to one could be the best of choices to another.

Now, the big question to ask here is, who determines what is good or bad choices? The one who made the choice or other people who judge from afar? I have come from a long way in this issue of choices. Some people looked me up and decided within themselves that the choice of career I have made is a bad one. And so they trying to tell me to put off what I love to do or they keep spoiling my work so as to discourage me.

To them, I made a bad choice because I chose writing and music, because I don’t want to answer the title of a pastor they preferred me to carry, I have the understanding that titles don’t make people. Rather, people give titles their worth. In other words, when we answer a title, our lives should portray the title we are carrying. If my life does not show the title I am carrying, then, I don’t deserve to carry the title. And if my life portrays a title I don’t carry, then, I am deserving of that title even if I don’t imclude it in my names.

So, my choices are solely my decisions to make. There shouldn’t be a human being to want to punish me for not being in my place of their supposed call, are you in God’s to say what He wants for me? Do you know my dealings with God? Even if you perceive some promptings in you spirit about what you think God is requiring of me to do, it’s not in your position to punish me because you supposed I am not taking up my responsibility as you have opined. What if that isn’t what God had put in my mind? God deals with us by Himself, He does not assign anyone the duty of punishing anyone we perceive as profaning God’s commands, or not despatching the duty He has assigned to him.


Sometimes, it’s not the fault of teachers but the congregation. When we receive the messages taught by our teachers (ministers), how do we process these messages that come to us and how do we distribute same to the people who listen to us? Because we are saved to save others. That’s how the gospel is preached.

Paul was talking to his spiritual son Timothy in II Timothy 2:2, he said, “You have heard me teach things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others.” That is what discipleship is about, the message of salvation is for everyone. God wants us to make disciples of all men, teaching them to observe and to do according to all that is written in the word.

Can they hear? Unless they’re taught and the responsibility of teaching them is ours. Scripture says, “Wise is He that wins a soul.” When we preach, we bring to God what makes Him happy. It’s not the tithes and offerings we pay I’m Church, God has no need for money or the material goods we take to Him.

The Bible tells us that on the last day, the book of records will be opened and everyone works will be brought to the open and punishment be apportioned to everyone according to his deeds.


The term is often used by Christians to refer to the physical buildings where they worship, but it is sometimes used as an analogy to refer to buildings of other religions. In traditional Christian architecture, a church interior is often structured in the shape of a Christian cross.

The physical Church is full of human interferences, dogmas, how we should conducts ourselves before the world. It is more of what and how people of the world view our lives more that than what God to whom we converge sees us.

Should we as believers be looking to how to please men or how to please God who gives us life? Some things we cannot do before the pastor, we do them in our secret places because no one sees us.

The scripture warns us against being concerned about men who can only destroy the physical. What is physical is canal and can be destroyed.

The Spiritual Church is a church affiliated with the informal spiritualist movement which began in the United States in the 1840s. A movement is an informal name for a group of loosely allied and also independent Spiritualist churches and Spiritualist denominations that have in common that they have been historically based in the African American community.

“Walk in the spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh” – Galatians 5:16 “For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh.” II Corinthians 10:3. The spiritual Church is somewhat what every believer should crave for but people love the physical Church more because that is where they showcase themselves more rather than God. I saw on a friend’s WhatsApp display picture a beautiful inscription written by A. J. Lawless. It says, “Her soul was too deep to be explored by those who swam on shallow waters.” So deep to understand. The says that the deep calleth to the deep. Those who scratch on the surface of things don’t get to discover anything because they prefer the shallow waters.

If you are careful to check, good is not found on the surface of the ground, diamonds are not picked on the surface of the earth, you need to go deep down. So also it is with every good thing – you don’t pick them on the surface, if you do, you won’t value them. The proverbs says, “It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, But the glory of kings is to search out a matter.” Proverbs 25:2. So, stop scratching on the surface of things and begin to dig deeper for a greater catch.

Therefore, the narrative that the Church is a home for all is the plain truth. But most of the beautiful sctructures erected today as Church are done with class in mind, “If we build it in this or with this look, this are the category of followers we shall attract.” And true to their sayings, that’s exactly what happens. As beautiful as the Church looks, it attracts rich and powerful men. Jesus preaching, he said, “Is it not the sick that needs a doctor?” The responsibility of the Church to reach out to the poor and less privileged in our society, but this category of people have been neglected by the Church as ministers are busy chasing after game and wealth. Church is a place to find love, peace and find God’s salvation and protection, a place of fellowship with God and men who provide answers to your questions of life.

We have made a grievous mistake to thinking that the Church is the structure or building in which people convene for fellowship.

The scripture says in the book of revelation, “Now, the kingdom (Tabernacle) of God is in the hearts of men.” (Revelation 21:3). Many believers look forward to when they will be lifted up to heaven to be with God. This is the greatest dream of everyone Christ, the hope of an eternal glory with God in His kingdom. Revelation prophesied: “The tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them….” This passage of scripture says that the kingdom of God will come on earth, so will we go up to heaven in the future, or will we be reunited with the Lord on earth? We trust you would all like to know the answer to this question. Today, we recommend a sister’s experiences for you to read, and we believe that, when you have finished reading it, you will all reap the harvest.

Most believers are anticipating that God is preparing for them a place up in heaven. Sometimes someday, He shall return to come and take them with Him to that beautiful heavenly aboard, paved with gold, gems and all manner of emeralds of beauty, a glorious place they shall inherit as an eternal home.

But it says, “…the kingdom of heaven is in the hearts of men.” The kingdom is in the hearts of men. Why is the kingdom in the hearts of men? Because God is a spirit, He does not dwell in physical structures made by men for men. Romans 12:1 gives us an account of Paul as he was admonishing the brethren in Corinth, “I beseech you therefore brethren by the mercies of God, that you offer your bodies as living sacrifice, holy and acceptable, which is your reason act of sacrifice…” I Corinthians 3:16 buttressed that point by asking, “Do you not know that your body is the temple of God?” God dwells in our hearts, not those structures we take time to decorate.

Since, God resides in our hearts, we need to care for it so that we don’t push God out of his home. He says, “guide your heart diligently for out of it flows every issue of life.” Don’t destroy your heart by importing some foreign things that are alien to God’s ways.

We need to return the Church to its original state, the house of prayer and healing that it should be. May God grand us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change. The courage to change the things we can. And the wisdom to know the difference.

The Morally Correct!

Childhood and adolescence are very sensitive ages in life. It’s an experimental time when young people try to find their course, a time when they try to sort out what they want to make out of their lives. It’s a time they experience lots of meltdown sessions.

At that, they will make lots of mistakes… that actually, is natural with growing up. Those mistakes could be gross sometimes.

And a child that does not exhibit such meltdowns sometimes might not be mentally sound…

If you are a parent, you will know, that mistakes are synonymous to youth life, young people can and will definitely make mistakes, grievous ones for that matter. And when a young person makes mistakes, it’s your duty as an adult to correct them and leave room for redemption.

Broadcasting such a child to the world will not help matters. At such an age, what are you hoping to see, a perfect child? For spreading that news around the world, what are hoping to accomplish?

A morally correct person will tell you that you’re not supposed to make mistakes and they do make worse mistakes than the.ones they condemn others for making. The morally correct breed the worst of children. They don’t usually mistakes in their homes but they’re too quick to notice little meltdowns and mistakes in other people’s children.

The first and most used word of the Morally Correct is, “You lack home training…” But their children are the most misbehaved in the society. They have enough time to want to hackney on the mistakes of the children who are not born in their homes – they can make beautiful excuses for why their children misbehave but no any other person’s child to make his own mistakes like their are making.

We live in a dog eat dog society, everyone is working hard to prove his/her worth and relevance in the society. And the best way they think they can do that is to play down on what is yours to make theirs appear the best that even goes for human life.

It’s not everyone standing with you has good thoughts of you… some people standing with you are only waiting for you to make a mistake so they can capitalize on it to call you names. They don’t just stop there, every slight opportunity they see, they use it to prove their point…

If your child has issues, they say, you didn’t train him right. On the contrary, it’s not always about the training you give a child. When children grow, they make their own choices too, which sometimes might turnout good or bad – that’s not to say that the parents didn’t train him/her right… they just made the wrong choices and there’s nothing anyone can do to change it until that child returns to his/her senses that’s how they’re going to be. The best any parent can do is to keep praying, counseling and advising that child through till God brings in intervention. Parents should never give up on him/her.

Yes, parents can be blamed to an extend if they didn’t do their work well. Yes, the child could be blamed too for making a wrong choice. There’s no parent or child who comes out to want to be a bad one. But as we know, growing up isn’t always a good time for all younger people. Growing up is a time for experiments, it’s a time children try to find their own paths and trust me, not too many of them end up getting it right.

However, we could say, “mistakes are to young people what poison is to life,” sometimes you eat the wrong kind of food and it poisons your entire system. Sometimes, we recover quickly from the poison. Other times, we don’t even come out of them scot free because the poison take a toll on us.

So, when young people make mistakes, you do not hold it against them as a mature person, that could be your own children – don’t use the child’s situation to measure the parents inability to raise him/her well or make it a public broadcast – that child needs to be redeemed. If you publicise his/her meltdowns, you are not helping to redeem the child, instead, you’re hardening up the child’s mind from being redeemed.

When someone makes a mistake, you don’t make them pay for their mistakes with their lives because no one is above mistakes. Some of us grown ups are fault finders, we look for the worse situations in people’s life to nail them especially if we don’t like those people, we use their situations to announce to the world how better we are compared to parents of such children.

“Normal, natural emotions are now seen as good or bad. And being positive has become a new form of moral correctness. People with cancer are automatically told to just stay positive. Women, to stop being so angry. And the list goes on. It’s a tyranny. It’s a tyranny of positivity. And it’s cruel. Unkind. And ineffective. And we do it to ourselves, and we do it to others.”

– Suzan David, Ph.D

We learn by making mistakes, and if our mistakes become snares people use to judge us then they’re not studying and learning from life. We understand that wisdom is applied knowledge. The knowledge we acquire by the experiences we’ve had or the experiences of other people. People should be allowed the chance to make their own mistakes and learn from them.

It is therefore our responsibility to guide and show these people the right way to walk through life. Good people don’t put others down, but they lift the up to be better people.

It’s difficult to handle teenage delinquency, it’s a period of throwing all manner of tantrums. A time they always want to tell the parents, “I have come of age to decide for myself what I want to do.” When a teenager takes up a decision, he/she does not see the danger lying ahead because they’re obsession with the idea or whatever plan they have in their minds. The growing up age is an age we live in fantasy, we don’t see the bumps and hold-ups ahead of us because we only fantasize with the presumptive results we have envisaged.

This brings to mind an old time proverb that says, “What an old man sees sitting down a young man cannot see even while standing.” This statement does not refer to the literal sitting down or standing up, the adage is actually referring to the experiences of both ages. A young person does not have the kind of experience an elderly man has had. So, they can tell you things based on their experiences during the years.

There’s nothing you’re doing in this age that has not been done before. As a matter of fact, this age is recycling everything that has been done before, though, we may refine it but all that is has been – there’s nothing new.

Even if the child was having a meltdowns, he was in the privacy of his home. He deserves a chance to be redeemed and do better in the future. Please, make room for such kind of children. You may say why is he/she the only one giving us trouble in the house? Is he/she the only child? Children are not born the same, they all come with their different character traits. As teenagers, they’re only acting their age or as growing up, they’re only experimenting with life, they’re charting out the course of their life. Is it too much to ask you to provide the enabling environment for them to grow?

MORAL CORRECTNESS: Moral philosophy is the branch of philosophy that contemplates what is right and wrong. It explores the nature of morality and examines how people should live their lives in relation to others.

Moral philosophy has three branches.

One branch, meta-ethics, investigates big picture questions such as, “What is morality?” “What is justice?” “Is there truth?” and “How can I justify my beliefs as better than conflicting beliefs held by others?”

Another branch of moral philosophy is normative ethics. It answers the question of what we ought to do. Normative ethics focuses on providing a framework for deciding what is right and wrong. Three common frameworks are deontology, utilitarianism, and virtue ethics.

The last branch is applied ethics. It addresses specific, practical issues of moral importance such as war and capital punishment. Applied ethics also tackles specific moral challenges that people face daily, such as whether they should lie to help a friend or co-worker.

So, whether our moral focus is big picture questions, a practical framework, or applied to specific dilemmas, moral philosophy can provide the tools we need to examine and live an ethical life.

The morally correct will reprimand every child who exhibit any form of tantrums bit their own children have excuses for throwing tantrums.

Well, I just pray to God, that we have not completely damaged that child’s life for good.

Let him, that is free of blame cast the first stone.

Where is our compassion?

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